Thank you for your wise words. To me, MLC-ers show a real lack of integrity. That's what it boils down to. I really appreciate this forum. Standing can make you really feel like the lone stranger. I ran across a "good for you, you divorced and didn't put up with it" "meme on Facebook today. It's just so reflective of society.
No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. -- Eleanor Roosevelt, This is My Story
My H visited last night. Our plan was to sort out more of his belongings for his move away. I asked him if he was 100% sure he had a future with the OW? “No but he knew this new job & move away was right” Was he 100% certain that he’d done the right thing by leaving home “Yes”. Was he 100% certain that he’d done the right thing leaving me? “Yes - too much had been said & done. That I came as a package with my family & they would never forget what he’d done” We both said we loved each other & he said that he regretted everything he’d done. I said if 2 people loved each other that they’d fight to be together. He told me he loved her too. I feel like I’ve gone back to September 2016 when he left. Like all my chances of ever winning him back are gone & that, as pathetic as this sounds, my life is over - again. What I don’t understand is that I felt I had made such progress with working on myself but his pending move away has stirred up so many emotions that I thought I’d dealt with. I feel devastated that I’ve lost him all over again. Angry at the OW for taking him away. Frightened of a life without him. He/they are excited about their new life together & I can’t see a way out of this despair for me. There is nothing more I can do to save my marriage. Sorry, this sounds ridiculous after all this time. What do I do now? How do I come come back from this?
M 1986 ILYBINILWY Jan 2016 Found out about affair May 2016. H 57yrs. OW 23 yrs younger. Separated Sept 2016
Oh Ruby, I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm in the same boat as you regarding feeling terrible all over again. Be strong, as strong as you can, we're all here for you if you need to vent or talk.
Together for 13 years, married for 8. H is 46 I'm 40 S is 6 Bombdrop in April 2018 Still in limbo as of 2019
I have merged your two threads together as your previous thread only had 20 postings. Please keep to one thread until you have reached 100 postings/replies. Thanks!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Hi ovrrnbw Regrettably I have. He’s never asked for a D. I’d love to save my M but he’s adamant that he can’t come back. His move away was the deciding factor. Finances needed to be sorted. Without a D, I don’t think I will ever be able to move forward. It’s breaking my heart but I don’t think I have any other sensible option.
M 1986 ILYBINILWY Jan 2016 Found out about affair May 2016. H 57yrs. OW 23 yrs younger. Separated Sept 2016
What do I do now? How do I come come back from this?
Very sorry you're going through this. What you do is let him go. Work on you. He's gone for now. The odds are very much against his new R working out, they might make it a few months to a year but it will likely crash and burn at some point. Then maybe he'll come back and maybe he won't, but the important thing is to get yourself to a place where you are fine with either outcome. You can do it, but unfortunately there's no shortcut through the pain you're feeling right now.
