Hi Trevor, maybe instead of relieve her guilt I should have said justify her actions. If you’re doing it it’s okay for her to type of thing.
If you like it where you are I wouldn’t move but that’s just me. Would you move for an unruly teen? I’m also very biased towards the mountains though. Just don’t act out of emotion. What about s? That’s a hard age, plus this, and a move could be a lot.
My ex too left all the animals behind, it’s a pretty coomon theme. She may remember them later. Keep busy and don’t torture yourself w the thoughts of what she could be doing. I know it’s hard but it gets easier. Focus on yourself and the kids. As you read the homework (also get the book if you haven’t) and detach you will start to see her projections (living like a bachelor comment) etc.
It is difficult sometimes to make decisions when everything is bouncing off the walls. The best thing to do when this is happening is to sit quietly and allow the answers to come to you. We tend to say around here that doing nothing is actually doing something. If you think it is better to remain in the same town for your children, then do so. Just because she's acting out doesn't mean you need to move out of town. If she states that she's uncomfortable w/you living in the area...she can move.
As for leaving the info out on an iPad for her to read about, i.e., anything to do w/MLC, etc., please do not do this. She will not like it and if she's in MLC, she will not want you to diagnosis her issues. This is something she must figure out herself.
They do leave their animals behind, just as they will tend to leave the children behind for a bit, as well as family/friends and, yes, you. There is nothing you can do to wake her up. However, there is plenty you can do for yourself. Keep the focus on you and your children, educate yourself on depression and MLC and again, focus on you and what you can control and how you react/interact w/her.
One question...how long after you posted to Khy did you try to edit your posting? I need to know if the edit button is working on this forum or you waited more than 10 minutes to try to edit the posting.
Last edited by job; 07/15/1807:50 PM. Reason: Added a question
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Thanks, Job, for the advice. It all makes sense...especially the part about doing nothing. It seems like I do more damage when trying to do something that I think will help. Like you said, this is for her to figure out.
I actually went back to edit the post about 5 min later, maybe less.
Thanks, Job, for the advice. It all makes sense...especially the part about doing nothing. It seems like I do more damage when trying to do something that I think will help. Like you said, this is for her to figure out.
I actually went back to edit the post about 5 min later, maybe less.
Yes - it is.
I wonder if my edit button works??? ???
Edit - Yes it does
Last edited by LanceSijan; 07/15/1809:02 PM. Reason: test
Thank you for checking your edit capability. Hope all is well with you.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
So, yet another question as I mull over options. My wife is going to move out soon, but it's likely to take a little bit of time as she figures out where to go (likely answer: his place). In reading over the info on going dark and detaching, I'm wondering if I should go with my son to the city to be with my sister for a month...with zero contact. I'll need to bring him back in time for school (about a month away), but we could stay away until then. It sounds like this going dark is generally viewed as a good thing, but what about in my situation, where I just got home after being away for nine months? Will she see it as "more of the same," or might she notice the distance and acknowledge that it's a preview of what she is about to lose?
I think I figured out the editting issue. By the time the post is approved/moderated, there's no or very limited time to edit. No worries, though. You guys will just have to excuse my fat thumbs! Haha
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
Yeah, this is a tough one but that's what I'm afraid of: the party time. Plus, it just got more complicated by the fact that my wife is ill (unrelated--took her to the ER last night). She's fine and back home, but I'm not sure I want to be leaving and paving the way for the other guy swoop in as the "loving caretaker" while she's on antibiotics and getting over her illness.
