I named the new thread Valhalla Cometh because i feel ascended. I feel like the old me was slain, by the sheer weight of the Sitch, but like the phoenix, something new, vibrant and POWERFUL is rising from the ashes.
Or like the glorious dead, who are escorted to Odin's Halls of Valhalla by the Valkyrie, to train among other victorious dead in honor, awaiting the coming of Ragnarok (Divorce, lol)
I have a lot of healing left to do, and a lot of things to learn about myself, and to refine about myself.
But i feel like I am at least over the crux, i have hit "The Wall" and kept on running.
The wind is dying down, and the sailing should smooth out from here.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sorry for using like 7 different metaphors in one post lol.
Lastly, i feel like I am finally in a place to give sound adivce to others here. I have made the mistakes, i have waded through the pain.
For any Newbie just reading my Sitch for the first time. I still have a long road, but the posters here are NOT WRONG.
Follow Sandi's Rules GAL Do 180's FOR YOU. Be the best you can be.
Also i just read a really neat article on why working out combats depression and the biological chemistry behind it. Worth looking into, there is SCIENCE to back up the GAL/180's.
"So many people tiptoe through life, only to arrive safely at death" ~ Jermaine Evans
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
Thanks LW. I feel alot more in control and empowered. Still having to push back some anxiety feelings, but im en route to the marina to go out on the ocean with s3 right now. So im having a good day!
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
Orange - Enjoy the day with S and ride that wave!! You sound like you are in a much better place now!! Keep goin- brake off the rear view mirror and don't look back! Cheers!
M51 w50 T-20Yrs M-16Yrs S15- mad at W for not trying and giving up 1 Awesum dog BD 10/31/17 separate rooms 02/08/18 wife moved out 05/17/18
Well. WIFE just came to my new place for the first time to pickup S3. She was with OM. SIL went outside with S3 to drop him off. He was very upset and cried. Saying he wanted to stay here. Fairly sure hes off share a bed with om and wife tonight.
She looks like crap. First time ive seen her face in person in 5 months. Shes aged a lot. Looks tired and worn. Hair looks neglected.
Had a great weekend, but feeling.....meh.
M: 35, EX-W: 3, S:4 All Divorce Proceedings Complete - Oct 18 ----------------------------------------------------- 2nd EX - Was Engaged - Diagnosed BPD 2 Major breakups. 2 Rebounds
Well. WIFE just came to my new place for the first time to pickup S3. She was with OM. SIL went outside with S3 to drop him off. He was very upset and cried. Saying he wanted to stay here. Fairly sure hes off share a bed with om and wife tonight.
She looks like crap. First time ive seen her face in person in 5 months. Shes aged a lot. Looks tired and worn. Hair looks neglected.
Had a great weekend, but feeling.....meh.
I understand the feeling. Whenever mu W contacts me, it puts me in a meh mood. In person contact is even worse. My W also is looking tired and worn. The encounters are getting more tolerable though each time they happen. One of the perks of becomimg more and more detached...
Me: 38 W:31 Kids: S16(mine from previous R), D10, S9, S4 M: 10 years T:12 years BD:Jan 3, 2018 W moved out: Apr 13,2018 Filed for D: Jun 2018 D final: Sep 2019
The encounters do get tolerable over time, but I honestly try and minimize them as much as possible. In the beginning it was hard to handle them emotionally and just keeping it all together, but over time it becomes pretty standard. I really don't care to see her as I move further away in the opposite direction.
Dealing with an ex-GF many years ago, that liked to try and keep me attached as Plan B, I learned that if you feel like crap after interaction with someone, then likely they are never going to contribute an iota to your happiness. It helps to analyze that in order to let them go. Better yet, rather than just let them go, but also to PUSH them out of your life altogether.
Likely it is unsatisfactory because they are only giving you enough to try to keep you attached. And that is all they will ever give you.
Life is too short to waste energy on someone that only wants you around as a safety net.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
