He went to court today and I am now divorced. I had a very rough day.......lots of crying and went to sit with his aunt because I could not stand to be alone. He called though and we talked this afternoon.....I was terrified that once this went through he would say it was over, but I just kept the conversation nonchalant and when he had to go I did not say ILY.....just bye and he said ILY to me. Talked with him just now and once again same pattern so it is a wait and see game. This is really hard though and my emotions are so overboard right now. We are still piecing though so I still have hope in my heart.
So sorry sweetie. I would continue not saying the ILY's - they miss it when it's gone, and it sounds like it would be a 180 for you.
Now as I see it, there are two directions to go here: 1) he knows you are patiently waiting and he can dither around trying to decide if he wants you or not. 2) you start to get him wondering about where you are and who you're with and starts to think "oh my god, what did I do by divorcing her" and starts pursuing you.
Doesn't that second option sound better?
I will try to find for you a link to a thread by CarolKH where she describes how giving the "appearance of dating" brought her H back after a 16 mo. separation. I'm not talking about actually dating - just going out, being a little mysterious about where and with whom, not answering all of his calls, etc.
Here is what is odd about us though.....we have practically been living together since May....working on things, but he still went through with the D....anyway it is just confusing for me and I am pulling back a bit to see what direction he is going to go in..... On the phone yesterday I told him that I had realized that I had to learn to trust in him and that the worst thing that could happen was that he would hurt me again....told him I would rather do that than give up because he was too important to me....anyway that is the scoop for now. Keeping high yet very cautious hopes.....thanks for your reply
