Getting ready to move forward

[petri]

Old thread is here: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubb...;gonew=1#UNREAD

[petri]

Today S11 had parkour training. I'm working so couldn't take him. Told him to ask his friend if he could go with them. That did work out. Then I told him to ask W if she could take him. S11 said that W is with friends so she can't take him. Texted W about it and S11 hadn't even asked her. So now I have a son who is lying to my face. Life is wonderful.

[Joe2017]

She could also be lying about it.

[petri]

S11 admitted that he lied. I am veey disappointed right now. This is not typical to S11. Not at all.

[Joe2017]

I see. Well, this is really hard on him too. I know it's bogus, but it's important that he knows you love him and you're there for him, despite the lie. Kids are incredibly empathic.

[petri]

I had a talk with S11. I was very straight forward with him. I told him that the lie he told made his mom seem like a bad person. He realised that too. I told him that W is not a bad person. He said that his sad mind got a hold of him, that's why he used W in the lie.

[winner]

This is often the sad reality of D that the W or H do not really take into account. I wish the children were considered more in these cases and that the statement "children are resilient" could not be glamourized.

[Henwen]

I agree about that statement. My daughter is in therapy because of this separation. But my x thinks the kids are just fine and this separation doesn't affect them.

[petri]

Winner & Henwen. That's what my W is saying. When I talked about family she said "don't you f-ing talk to me about family b/c this is about you and me, this has nothing to do with kids". And of course the basic kids will be just fine, this doesn't affect them etc...there is actually no negative in divorce in her mind. Everything will be just fine after the D. Everyone will be happy and money will pouring from every window and door.

Basically she is right that this is about me and her. But the fact is that she doesn't see how this does affect our kids and our parsnts and siblings b/c it does affect much larger than me and her.

[petri]

Had a talk with my sister. She had seen Ws picture in FB. My sister said that she was shocked what W looks like, she referred W to a skeleton. And to be honest...last time I saw her, I felt like I was looking at a stranger. She doesn't look like she used to. She's starting to look like an addict or a person who doesn't eat.