Married for almost 2 years. She says I was emotionally abusive and that she wants a divorce, this was right around Christmas. I moved out (kicked out) this week. She shows ZERO want to reconcile. I stopped talking to her when I moved out. Someone please help me. Thanks in advance for any advice
You may be on moderation now, post in small frequent replies and stay on this thread until you reach 100 posts (for your thread, you can also post on other peoples threads to give support). Especially on this Newcomers forum, where the posting activity is very active, and your posts can quickly fall to the bottom of the page or even several pages down. Keep journaling and asking questions - people will come! Most important - POST!
Get out and Get a Life (GAL). DETACH.
Believe none of what he or she says and half of what he/she does.
Have NO EXPECTATIONS.
Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise.
Take the parts of this advice that you need and don't worry if I have repeated something that you have already done.
Here are a few links to threads that will help you immensely:
She says I was emotionally abusive and that she wants a divorce, this was right around Christmas. I moved out (kicked out) this week. She shows ZERO want to reconcile. I stopped talking to her when I moved out. Someone please help me. Thanks in advance for any advice
Just keep POSTING and one other bit of advice from Wonka that I totally agree with.
Originally Posted By: Wonka
Get DR/DB book. Keep this to yourself. DO NOT share this book or this site at all with your spouse. It is your playbook and not to be shared with the "opposing" team.
It is important to clear the search/browsing history from your computer on a daily basis to prevent the possibility for your WAS to stumble on the DB site and discover your posts here on DB. Erasing the search history will protect your posts and you as well.
We have seen too many Marriages blow up in pieces after the WAS discovers the DB site or DR book. Why is that? It is because the WAS thinks, erroneously I might add, that you are "manipulating" them back into the M.
Keep the DR book and DB site very close to your vest.
Not reaching out to her is good for right now. The first thing you need to do is look at yourself, if you don't know if you're emotionally abusive, then you need to figure it out. Maybe talking with an IC will help you.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
The only thing I fear from me being distant and not talking, (not pursuing), is that it’s exactly what she wants. It allows her to be free and lose every feeling she has for me because she doesn’t even have to think about me
Read the "pursuit and distance" link in the list of links that Cadet sent you. Right now, if you give her lots of space and distance, she'll be more inclined to return. It feels so counter-intuitive, but it's true.
