The mind movies and self doubt are getting to me. I'm just not able to turn it off sometimes. I get that this is all in my own head.
I meant to go work out today at lunch but I ended up getting distracted with some actual work. I was able to get my mind off things for a little while and did about an hour of walking while I was on a site survey.
I feel better now. At least I didn't backslide any today, but the night is young. I'm hoping that I can avoid WW again tonight.
Save yourself. Nobody is coming! BD:11/2017 Filed:12/2017 Final: 2/2018
You are stronger than you know it is hard changing your life especially when you have little to no control over this I can truly tell you from personal experience here and many many times I just did not get it ...I thought I did but I wa consumed by grief wrapped in the situation so tightly noting was ever heard but you will come through this and you will feel happy again
You will have days where you just want to give up don't forget we have all been there and many are still working at it.
How long this takes you is up to you ...the sooner you turn the corner the quicker you wil heal
I thought I would never get to where I am now .....you control your thoughts and it is your thoughts that create your feelings
Take care my friend my thoughts and prayers are with you Ghost
Me:48 W 41 M:18 T:26 2 D 18 & 4 2 S 17 & 13 Bomb: 20/7/2015 in house separation D filed 06/17 Separate houses 10/17 D Final 29/12//17.
The mind movies and self doubt are getting to me. I'm just not able to turn it off sometimes. I get that this is all in my own head.
Don't beat yourself up. It's ok, you're human, you're hurt, and you need time to heal. That's gong to take time, you're going to have setbacks, good days, and bad days. Remember that there's nothing wrong with feeling the way you do.
I lived with my WAW for a while after she filed. It's so hard seeing them day to day. When there is physical distance, it will be easier to get emotional distance, too.
Hang in there.
M:23 T:26 Me:53, Wife: 60 S:18 D:16 filed 7/16 W moved out 4/28/17
Last night I returned to the home at an unexpectedly late time. I was expecting WW to be in the MBR, trying to reclaim it but she was not. She was in her usual spot and WW was on the phone with OM. Talking loud and obviously trying to make it a point for me to hear her. That is crappy because it means it's loud enough for the kids to hear too.
The in house S is starting to really get to me. It is incredibly difficult for me to get any peace of mind for myself or the kids. She is constantly trying to make it clear that I have to leave her son alone and I am not to be called "dad" by S14 anymore. She feeds S14 separate from S16. She will do everything possible to make it uncomfortable for us and to make the two kids feel like there should be separation between them.
Her actions are seriously detrimental to the kids, but she blames ME for this! Because I'm "trapping" her here by not moving MYSELF out of the MH. It is so awful for everyone. I know for a fact that the kids know I am not the instigator. It does not make things alright, though.
I'm about one month away from the point where litigation can start. I'm still awaiting the next round of paperwork from her attorney (even though she keeps saying it's on my attorney).
I am thinking of just moving out and getting an apartment, just to get some peace for myself and S16. The other day she interrogated S16 about my location and accused him of hiding my whereabouts from her.
I know this goes against DBing. I am trying to see if I can wait this out and make her be the one to make they decision to move out. But the fog is thick, and she is stubborn. My attorney did not say that I could get any kind of paperwork to force her out of the MH.
I'm stuck in a holding pattern. I know V advocated for an OOP, but the way it works is that WW will have to be served paperwork to show up in court to defend the OOP. I think it would really stir the pot too much?
Save yourself. Nobody is coming! BD:11/2017 Filed:12/2017 Final: 2/2018
What's wrong with stirring the pot? The likelihood that you'll make things worse is slim. In fact, you'll probably feel empowered. In DB parlance you could claim that it's a 180, if that makes you feel any better.
One thing have noticed recently is that the more DB things I apply the closer she moves towards OM. For instance, whenever I become unavailable she calls OM and talks loudly.
It is very frustrating because it is in my face. It won't go away. She throws OM in my face whenever she feels like she's losing her grasp on me.
Save yourself. Nobody is coming! BD:11/2017 Filed:12/2017 Final: 2/2018
It is very frustrating because it is in my face. It won't go away. She throws OM in my face whenever she feels like she's losing her grasp on me.
Joe2017,
Would your wife put up with that kind of behavior from you? If not, then how would she respond? Do whatever it is she'd do in the same situation. You can take this by the balls or you can sit around and wallow in your frustration. Your choice.
