Hello all. Well here I am ready to make the move to piecing. I have been here dipping my toes in but I am wading now.
Link to old threads Calls But no Message Part 1 calls but no message part 2 calls but no message part 3 Vitals: Me 34 Him 36 WASO-December 27th Sit-Just about to be engaged He decides I do not respect him and was a TAKER and with that statement leaves. 12/27 to 4/20 No contact. I sent one letter 4/1 Get DB books 4/19 Before he contact I decide to give it up 4/20 He calls Went to LR 5/14 Went to LLR few weeks into LR during our first meeting With a twist, we agree to be friends. 5/14-7/31 In the friend phase. Only once a week phone contact by me. Convos are hour to 3 hours long. No R 7/8 I apologize. No response 7/17 We see each other for the second time. He is cold 7/25 I bring him his yearbooks for his bday. 3rd meeting 7/31 I go to his house for dinner. 4th meeting Brings me to piecing
This is only the 4th time I have seen SO since break in December.
I had a wonderful night with SO. I made fried chicken, mac and cheese, Peas, and a carmel dessert. Now I dont cook so this was a 180.
Just got home at 6:30am. He just moved into a new place on Monday and it is really nice. We sat and talked for a while like an hour or so. I asked if I could help unpack and he said *I did not have you here to unpack with me*.
Then we talked some more and he asked if I wanted some wine so we drank a bottle. And talked and then drank another bottle. Ate. Then it was getting late and I looked outside getting ready to go and it was storming out. He asked me if I wanted to stay. So I did.
And we started to kiss while laying down on his bed. It just went from there. I did say I missed you in the heat of the moment and he replied that he missed me too. Later I said it again and he said it back.
We slept very little. I could tell he was restless so I asked if something was on his mind and he said *everything and nothing.*.
Then we were togther once more before he went to work. He held me tight before he left and asked me if I wanted to sleep in since he was leaving then about 5:30 am. I said yes. On his way out he kissed me good bye. And said *Take Care* NO ILU from him or me. The TAKE CARE statement bothered me.
Then he came back up because he forgot the remote that he was going to leave for me in my car so I could get out of the parking garage. He came back into the bedroom and kissed me goodbye again. I said are you OK? He said I am nervous arent you? I said yes but you are really sweating. He said *well I did all the work! Also the condom this morning broke which has us both nervous
Some things bothering me. No ILU from him..He knows I only have sex if I am in love. No Lets try from him No asking me to come back over..no mention that this is going to happen again I am not a sex kitten in bed and the *I did all the work statement bothered me.
I did leave a note thanking him for having me over and said the place is great. VALIDATION I also said that I was sorry if he felt he did all the work but he was great. VALIDATION Then I said I was going to stop by the OB to get checked out to be on the safe side and I hoped this was OK with him. LISTENTING
Anyone comment here who has been in the sit of almost back and sex without ILU?
I might be in the same situation, see me at "Probably Coming Back," he's not back yet. Hoping he will be, is living with OW, not having sex with OW with from what he tells me. I have been having sex with H and this just started about a month ago. He gets done work at 2:30 so he'll call me at work to see if I can sneak out, which I have done a few times. This is not like me either. In the past work has always been more important, but I have been leaving to see him which is a 180 for me. I do say ILU, he doesn't say it back, I also tell him I miss him, he doesn't say it back, but that's okay for now. Sex was one of the things that was missing from our R towards the end and he enjoys it a lot. Afterwards is when we're close and he'll start opening up to me.
I really don't see anything wrong with it. I'm still his W he's still my H and there's a lot more passion then there's been in a long time and I'm enjoying it, too.
Even though I'm not a "veteran" of this board, I think it's okay and am not going to stop meeting him if he calls and asks. I'm hoping this will draw him back home to me.
Tonight I went over to his place. I tried to call first but I got the machine.
He was sleeping and came to the door. I went in and kissed him hello he responed bak but was groggy. He asked how it went at the doctor (I went to get a med since the condom broke alst night) and we disccused this for a while. He was great, supportive and said you seem freaked out.
I said that I just wasnt sure how he would take everything given we are not established. He was again supportive but did not say much. Just that he understood and he placed his hand on my knee. And that he appreciated me running it all by him. And he said *are you feeling better and I said *yes now that I talked to you I feel better. I know I can be melodramatic so thanks for being so cool. He said *No THANK YOU.
Then we sat for three hour talking about stuff. Good convo.
NO R talk. Which I think he appreciated. Just kinda hung out and he was great. He could have gone out with friends I am sure.
I said that I was going to go and he said OK. He walked me to the car and I said *How bout we try for Monday to do something. He said Monday, ok. Then I said *are you ok with me asking you to do things and he said *yes. Then I said *you know you can ask me to do things to...in a nice funny tone. He laughed and said *Ok, boy I am never going to live that down! I said * yeah I know about workin for it but. Again all laughing.
So I said *Ill talk to you Sunday. He said *Ok Ill call you and I said *yep I wait for you to call. He said* yep Ill call you. laughing again.
Then he kissed me gently and we hugged. He said* you smell good. I know I dont smell good. I said * no really, you smell fine.
Anyway, again sometimes good DBing means good communication and not waiting to read their mind or doing something that is causing you pain. I am glad I tried. But patience is key. I still have to work on it.
