Unfortunately, looks like we're headed for D. It's been 7+ months and I believe I've made peace with it. Obviously, not what I intended or envisioned when we got together 27 years ago.
I can't look at her in the same glowing light as I used to. Right now, she is not someone I want to be married to. I have owned my contribution to the break down of the marriage. I continue to read self help books so that I don't repeat the same mistakes in future relationships! Of course, I continue to GAL
The advice and the 2x4's on this forum have contributed to my growth and I continue to grow and become the man I want to become.
Sandi, 25years, Another Standing, Kaizen - Thanks for everything...words cannot express my sincere gratitude for the advice given, especially the 2x4's. Those are what contributes the most to growth.
Nothing has been filed yet though we did meet with a mediator last week and I (the one who doesn't want the D) asked the majority of the questions and was the more knowledgeable one.
Just read through your thread and see many similarities with mine in age, years married, etc. You haven't mentioned too much how your children are taking this? What are you doing to protect them?
The biggest effect I've seen on my daughters is that it has brought them closer together...they've become each others best friend which is all I can really ask for.
As far as protecting them, I just try and be a model of stability, set a good example, and just be there for them.
Well thought I’d send out an update as it’s been about a year and a half since my last update:
Started dating again in early 2018, WW got wind of it and begged me to come back. Fine I owe it to my family to give it one last go. That lasted for a couple months before we started having parental differences so she gave me the vaunted I think we should separate and divorce. Being the new me rather than beg cower get angry I said “Fine but why the hell did you ask me to come back in the first place”. Don’t really remember her response and honesty at the time I didn’t really care.
Spent the summer of 2018 finding and moving into separate residences. Had her over for dinner before Thanksgiving and she broke down “I don’t want to be divorced” she spent the night and we did “sex with the ex”
Mind you at that time I’ve been living on my own and going out on dates so I wasn’t to keen on getting back together as this would be the fourth time.
Through all this I’ve realized one thing that I’ll relay to all the other LBH:
You will be alright the world is not ending.
and these words of wisdom that I saw on another board:
“Find your value as a man and find your confidence within. Once you do that you will realize that you don't need a woman to validate you.”
