I was struggling at work all summer as well. This last week is the first week where I was aware of what was going on. You will start to feel yourself comeback slowly.
M:37 W:37 T:11 M:10 S17, S13, S10, S4 BD:06/28/17 OM confirmed 07/20/17 Recon the M 10/29/17 Working hard:2gether
Onward and forward
This process is not a sprint it's a marathon! Patience, Patience, Patience.
Coworker just came by to check on me. He went thru W infidelity and divorce a few years back and seems ok now. He and I hadn't spoken since I started DBing. I didn't reveal DR/DB but told him some of my GALing things (didn't use the term tho) and my lack of expectations regarding W. I admitted the occasional struggles.
He said, "It's good, you're fine."
Tomorrow might be interesting. I'm expecting W to pick up her mail in the morning and see the med bills and my note. Won't be surprised if she blows up at me, which I will likely ignore, btw.
Me48 W46 D22 D20 T30 M28 BD/PA revealed 05/2017 W moved out 06/2017 DB started 9/6/2017
To be clear, I'm not vindictively attempting to screw her over with these bills. I gave her credit for half of our HSA balance, and she's now simply responsible for the rest. Just life - deal with it. You want to be on your own, guess what: you'll have bills of your own then.
She usually sees these things thru a different lens than me, however.
We'll see...
Me48 W46 D22 D20 T30 M28 BD/PA revealed 05/2017 W moved out 06/2017 DB started 9/6/2017
Yup - gotta learn how to pay your own bills, cook your own food, get car tires swapped for different seasons, get oil changes, deal with fixing things in your place etc. W basically didn't have to lift a finger to get any of those things done in the MR. Now, you on your own.
You're doing well. She needs to learn what separation really means. You have ZERO obligation to do anything at all for her. She's a cheater, why would you? Answer: you wouldn't.
Down day today, knowing D22 will be seeing W. Some days I feel detaching is going well, others not so much.
D22 is supposed to deliver W her bills fwiw. Hoping it's a reality check for W.
I know I haven't been DBing long at all, but already it's like watching paint dry at times. Will I have the patience for this? Doesn't W know that I'm still partially attached by the mere fact I'm not filing for D?
Sometimes I wonder if I'm better off just filing, getting it done, and making myself available for when I come across someone who actually wants to be with me.
Struggling to keep the faith today.
Me48 W46 D22 D20 T30 M28 BD/PA revealed 05/2017 W moved out 06/2017 DB started 9/6/2017
I'm new to the process as well even though I went through it once already last year. I guess we just could't put the pieces back together they we needed to.
Right now it seems that the bad days outweigh the good and any little memory can get me down.
Stay strong! It will get better.
Me: 42 W: 47 S: 10 M: Almost 10 in Oct T: 15 1st BD: Feb 2016 Divorce Filed: Mar 2016 Separated: Mar 2016 Reconciled: Oct 2016 2nd BD: Aug 2017
Down day today, knowing D22 will be seeing W. Some days I feel detaching is going well, others not so much.
When my W moved out it took me about 1.5 mths before I felt much better.
Quote:
I know I haven't been DBing long at all, but already it's like watching paint dry at times. Will I have the patience for this? Doesn't W know that I'm still partially attached by the mere fact I'm not filing for D?
I question that myself but I also know that I am ready to date again either so I tell myself what's the difference other than a piece of paper and money.
Each day will get better and better, a little easier. I think it you want to save your MR give yourself more time and working on yourself. I think ultimately if you want to file you do it when you have given your W every chance to see the new and improved you. At that point either she jumps on board or doesn't but either way your golden!
Evidently I'm the bad guy right now bc I ignored W's calls the day I went dark. W showed/mentioned to D22 the texts etc. to 'prove it.' So she's still the victim and still has a hardened heart.
I'm so pissed off that she's using propaganda against me now w D. This is the same W who gave me rafts of crap repeatedly for 'involving the girls.' Do I just let this slide?
D22 sees it as, 'you've both done mean stuff to each other.'
Grrrrr
Me48 W46 D22 D20 T30 M28 BD/PA revealed 05/2017 W moved out 06/2017 DB started 9/6/2017
I'm so pissed off that she's using propaganda against me now w D. This is the same W who gave me rafts of crap repeatedly for 'involving the girls.' Do I just let this slide?
IMO let it go, you can't control it. Be the bigger, better person and take the high road.
