L says there is a good chance she will be liable for at least the boat she put on a credit card, if not more.
BOAT???? The woman that doesn't have a job bought a boat? Wow!
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I work from home so I can work in any state in the US, and my boss is extremely understanding of the situation.
Ah, OK so you do have a job. I assumed you didn't since you just moved to CO. OK that's good! Also really nice to have that kind of flexibility!
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I have and I have a journal documenting everyday I've taken care of him, the times she talks to him on the phone, essentially everything from the last few months (really since April)
Great, sounds like you are on the right track. I know it hurts to have to do that, but you're doing the right thing! Maybe she'll come out of the fog some day but if she's in MLC this whole "girls gone wild" shtick could be around for quite a while.
BOAT???? The woman that doesn't have a job bought a boat? Wow!
Haha, yeah, well, it was a boat for her and her uncle to go fishing on. Pretty sure she basically bought it for him as a gift, using my credit card of course.
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Great, sounds like you are on the right track. I know it hurts to have to do that, but you're doing the right thing! Maybe she'll come out of the fog some day but if she's in MLC this whole "girls gone wild" shtick could be around for quite a while.
I hope for our son's sake she does. All I really want is for her to show she can be responsible, and actually have an interest in his life. I understand our relationship is gone, but I hate to see he throw him away too.
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All our problems, opportunities, etc. fall within one of those two circles. Proactive people focus only on the ones that fall within their circle of INFLUENCE. These are things we can do something about. Reactive people focus on things within the circle of CONCERN, they spend their energy on things they can't control or change. So let me pose a question to you- does making your W a better mom fall under circle of concern or circle of influence?
You're right. I wish things were different, but I'm trying to just focus on the things I can control.
In terms of GAL, I'm off to paris next week for work and I have a free day, so I'll get a chance to see the sights at least! Wish me luck (son is staying with my parents while I'm gone)
I think one of the hardest things for me at least is the loneliness. I try to fill the space with friends, and family, but still, losing my best friend of 7 years, that's hard. There's so many times during the day where I think "I want to tell her this" or "she would think this is funny" or "I'm gonna buy her this little gift". Then have to stop myself. It's a big hole and it doesn't seem to be getting smaller.
I just wanted to say that I am sorry and I think we can all relate to those feelings of loneliness. To this day, those months following my H's BD, were the most painful, difficult, and lonely days that I have ever experienced. I have been through other hardships and lost people dear to me, but losing my H and with the betrayal, was the worst hurt. I wish I had something to say that would offer you some comfort. Unfortunately, as you know, there is no easy fix. You may just need to keep up doing what you are doing and have faith that this too shall pass. It will not feel this way forever. We can all think of times in our lives when things were hard or painful, and as time went on it did get easier.
Take care, Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
I had an interesting conversation with my wife last night. We haven't talked (outside of talking about our son) in weeks, and last night she messaged me and started talking about how she would like to be move civil with me, apologized for some of the harsh and nasty things she had said in the past, and then asked if I would video chat with her (just me, not to talk to our son). I was busy at the moment but we scheduled a time a few hours later.
She basically wanted to talk to me about how she was feeling not seeing our son, and that she feels she has matured (she says she knows she went, as she said, "white girl crazy" earlier in the year and hurt him by her actions). She doesn't want to get back together with me, she just wants the ability to have a civil divorce and to see our son again. The call ended up getting really late and we both decided to end it, so we didn't come to any resolutions, it was mostly me listening and her talking.
But we have both agreed to be civil, so that's good progress on that front at least.
As for her seeing him, I don't know how it is going to work, he can't go see her as she doesn't have a job or the ability to support him at all, and she can't really come to Colorado for the same reason (I can't afford to pay for her to visit). So, we don't have a solution there, but I felt it was a good conversation and puts us in a better place to co-parent at least.
A part of me wonders if she is slowly wondering if she made a mistake, and maybe someday she will want to come back. OR, is she just realizing she messed up as a mom and wants to co-parent, but is no more likely to want to come back. I haven't brought up our relationship at all, just confining things to an on-going friendship and co-parenting partnership.
Downhub, chances are she just wants to smooth out the coparenting R. But it's impossible to know what she's thinking, and it'll only drive you crazy trying to figure it out.
Me-47,XW-43 S13,S16 M:18 BD:4-23-17 W filed:7-17-17 (5 months of in-house separation hell) W moved out:1-6-18 D granted:2-15-18 Decree signed:3-29-18
Yeah that's what I figure. It is still obvious she's pretty lost in her world still, since that very sincere talk she hasn't made an effort to talk to our son (like usual) since. I'm just sticking with living my life. Apartment hunting soon now that I'm getting close to paying off her debt.
I had another conversation with her today. I try to have direct, purposeful conversations with her from time to time. Nice, interested in her life, but not too interested, with a list of direct questions that I want to ask her. For instance, I talked to her about some financial things we needed to clear up, talked about milestones for our son, she asked me if it was ok if she got rid of our last dog because she isn't able to keep up with it (my wife, who has no job, can't take care of an 8 pound dog because she is too busy :/).
She says she hopes to have a job next week. I will believe it when I see it, but I hope for her sake she does.
It was a good conversation. I didn't bring up anything about her and I, our relationship, the guys she spends time with, or anything. I was kind, but not overly friendly. It made me feel good at least that I am able to have these conversations with her without dropping my guard and being vulnerable or getting upset anymore. I think that's a positive step in the next direction.
