6 months ago my wife shared her desire for freedom and that she loves me but isn't in love with me... after 26 years. We still live in the same house. She leaves for the weekends. In short order I learned to calm things into respectful very brief passing conversations. She in essence does her own thing in the house during the week. We share dinner together and occasional passings.
Many life events helped elevate matters (death of my parents, empty nest, two of her friends leaving their long time souses...). In essence I became complement in our relationship... i see that now
I am not naive enough to think she isn't having an affair, but choose not to raise the issue at this time.
I feel a stalemate in things and hope is waning. However I am committed
I am fairly well versed in matters of re-attracting, DB'ing, pursuit-distancing, 180 etc, any insight is welcome
BD Oct 2016 Me 47, W 43 together 25 years S 25, D 22
i agree with the GAL comment. Ive started to gradually. By nature Im a bit of an introvert and most of those i was closest to were her family and friends
Within a week or two of bomb drop Ive taken the high road and rather quickly calmed things to the point of no arguments. To this day she often hides away or leaves on weekends, but i don't confront and always put on a positive face on things
I greatly sense she will ultimately leave and do know she has yet to accept what her financial future will be. Part of me wants to point it out, but i await her to bring forth such a discussion
BD Oct 2016 Me 47, W 43 together 25 years S 25, D 22
I grew up playing music and have a get together in the next week or two with likeminded individuals. As she is gone all weekend she may not notice, but it for me. Ive also put an increased energy into my career. Which Ive always done, but even more so lately
any relationship conversations, which have not occurred in months, would have been initiated by me. I stopped 3-4 months ago and she hasn't said a thing since then. i don't see things changing any time soon, if at all. I am looking for new ideas or support
At present i am also quite busy settling my parents estate and financial planning in the likely event we depart.
BD Oct 2016 Me 47, W 43 together 25 years S 25, D 22
i recognize i need to GAL and take better care of myself. That said most other actions fall in line with DB teachings. I suppose I just feel like i'm in limbo and should be doing something more
BD Oct 2016 Me 47, W 43 together 25 years S 25, D 22
i admit i sometimes wonder if she's in a midlife crises, as she goes out with new friends all weekend now, suspect an OM, and in general a walk away wife. That said I sometimes try to figure out which applies (180, MLC, Distance vs Pursuit, DB'ing... etc). Ive purchased several programs, talked to councillors... but in the end I take a balance of each as there is a general overlap. Perhaps I'm misguided
BD Oct 2016 Me 47, W 43 together 25 years S 25, D 22
