When I moved out affair was not confirmed. ILBINILWY and we were 2 little kids as a side dish was the reason she left me. I guess she chose OM for now but I can see confusion in her eyes and words.
She made me believe at that time that it was all my fault and I believed it as I was in a weak mind. No way I can move back. Affair still ongoing. Bear in mind AP is 25yrs old.
M43 WW 41 OM 24 M 17 T 19 D 9 S 3 BD 04 -11-16 I left home same day PA confirmed -16-17 on going since September 2016 D FINAL 19-04-08
I understand Cadet I would do with your wise advice though right now. In U.K. If you file a divorce before 2 years of separation you will have to have a reason that shows reconciliation is out of question. Hence if she files I would have to accept unreasonable behaviour towards me.
Now our marriage was not perfect and needed work but that is something for which I take 50% of the blame.
Now taking the divorce upon unreasonable behaviour from my side I feel would be a further blow for me.
I love this woman and if my theory of her having a MLC is right I think I would take her back if she makes it out of the tunnel.
I find it so frustrating the fact that I cannot do nothing.
I will try to waste time on filing in the hope she won't before but as I understand MLC is a long haul
M43 WW 41 OM 24 M 17 T 19 D 9 S 3 BD 04 -11-16 I left home same day PA confirmed -16-17 on going since September 2016 D FINAL 19-04-08
In U.K. If you file a divorce before 2 years of separation you will have to have a reason that shows reconciliation is out of question. Hence if she files I would have to accept unreasonable behaviour towards me.
Not quite. She has to cite your unreasonable behavior which you can contest.
Quote:
I find it so frustrating the fact that I cannot do nothing.
Sometimes doing nothing is doing something.
Hang in there.
Me:43 Her:42 M:14 S:9 EA started 2014/03 (or there abouts) PA started 2014/05/30 BD:2014/11/05 I left 2015/10/01 I returned 2015/05/02 She left 2015/06/10 OM still on the go.
LH19 I can't move back because I do not pay the bills. Is a rented house. I pay child maintenance as of UK laws.
When we separated although I sensed the affair I had not real proves. I found out later on as I kept looking for it.
She only admitted 2 weeks ago. When I first found out the existence of this young man she insisted it was after separation.
I managed to make her admit it by playing some mind games as I knew she was confused. I am not proud of having done this but I felt it was my right to know the truth.
I am also worried that she would bring this guy to my kids.
The age gap between OM and my WAW is more than the age gap between my little girl and him.
M43 WW 41 OM 24 M 17 T 19 D 9 S 3 BD 04 -11-16 I left home same day PA confirmed -16-17 on going since September 2016 D FINAL 19-04-08
NDY actually thanks for dropping in. I know I can contest but here the idea is to do everything as cheap as possible using online services as our economic situation is really serious. No savings no assets. Nothing but 2 kids to look after. She's so fogged that she can't even see that my studio flat is totally unsuitable for the kids. That is all I can afford for now.
Trying to rebuild but it will take time.
M43 WW 41 OM 24 M 17 T 19 D 9 S 3 BD 04 -11-16 I left home same day PA confirmed -16-17 on going since September 2016 D FINAL 19-04-08
I love this woman and if my theory of her having a MLC is right I think I would take her back if she makes it out of the tunnel.
You answered your own question.
Originally Posted By: strdays
I understand MLC is a long haul
Standing is NOT STILL. You need to keep moving forward for YOU.
Read up on Admiral Stockdale a POW in Vietnam
Originally Posted By: Stockdale
"I never lost faith in the end of the story," he said, when I asked him. "I never doubted not only that I would get out, but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event of my life, which, in retrospect, I would not trade." I didn't say anything for many minutes, and we continued the slow walk toward the faculty club, Stockdale limping and arc-swinging his stiff leg that had never fully recovered from repeated torture. Finally, after about a hundred meters of silence, I asked, "Who didn't make it out?"
"Oh, that's easy," he said. "The optimists."
"The optimists? I don't understand," I said, now completely confused, given what he'd said a hundred meters earlier.
"The optimists. Oh, they were the ones who said, 'We're going to be out by Christmas.' And Christmas would come, and Christmas would go. Then they'd say, 'We're going to be out by Easter.' And Easter would come, and Easter would go. And then Thanksgiving, and then it would be Christmas again. And they died of a broken heart."
Another long pause, and more walking. Then he turned to me and said, "This is a very important lesson. You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end – which you can never afford to lose – with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be."
