Husband hasn't been home in 2 days and before that it was only about an hour to shower and change before he was off to work again. He rarely gets home before me and kids are in bed and can easily go a week without ever seeing or speaking to us. He's not having an affair, just has always been a workaholic. It's gotten much worse the last few years. I'm a big fan of the DB techniques, but feel very resentful. It's difficult to be nice to someone I feel like has abandoned his family. The 3 year old constantly asks if daddy is coming home today. It's heartbreaking. We were in counseling for about 6 months, but then he got "too busy" to come. He'd started not showing up until the last 15 minutes or so anyway so it had become useless. There is always an excuse as to why he must work so much. He's been on Adderall for the last couple years and this has definitely caused the work hours to increase. I try to just live my life, but it does get extremely lonely. Kids are S13,S11,D3.
You may be on moderation now, post in small frequent replies and stay on this thread until you reach 100 posts (for your thread, you can also post on other peoples threads to give support). Especially on this Newcomers forum, where the posting activity is very active, and your posts can quickly fall to the bottom of the page or even several pages down. Keep journaling and asking questions - people will come! Most important - POST!
Get out and Get a Life (GAL). DETACH.
Believe none of what he or she says and half of what he/she does.
Have NO EXPECTATIONS.
Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise.
Take the parts of this advice that you need and don't worry if I have repeated something that you have already done.
Here are a few links to threads that will help you immensely:
Husband hasn't been home in 2 days and before that it was only about an hour to shower and change before he was off to work again. He rarely gets home before me and kids are in bed and can easily go a week without ever seeing or speaking to us. He's not having an affair, just has always been a workaholic. It's gotten much worse the last few years. I'm a big fan of the DB techniques, but feel very resentful. It's difficult to be nice to someone I feel like has abandoned his family. The 3 year old constantly asks if daddy is coming home today. It's heartbreaking. We were in counseling for about 6 months, but then he got "too busy" to come. He'd started not showing up until the last 15 minutes or so anyway so it had become useless. There is always an excuse as to why he must work so much. He's been on Adderall for the last couple years and this has definitely caused the work hours to increase. I try to just live my life, but it does get extremely lonely. Kids are S13,S11,D3.
Hello Boddeo,
I'm so sorry that you are feeling abandoned.
How has being on Adderall increased his work hours? Is he working towards a promotion/bonus? At the risk of mind reading, does he feel like this schedule is ok since it is what he needs to do to provide for his family (his perspective)?
Knowing what to do and what not to do at this point is crucial. Feel free to give me a call at 303-444-7004 to discuss how we can best help you determine what to do next.
Cristy
Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004
A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.
Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004 for more information or to get started right away.
How long have you been married? How old are you? He has always been like this? Does he know you are unhappy about the current situation? Are you thinking of leaving/divorcing? What is your desire and how can we help you?
Gordie 40s W 40s M20+ kids 2016 BD W fantasy affair w OM1 I do everything wrong 2017 I start to DB W says TLTL files for D PA w OM2 2018 I do LRT W drops filing and OM2 situation slowly improving
