And honestly I didn't come to this realization until my divorce attorney slapped me in the face with it about 3 hours ago. She told me to quit dragging my feet, get in touch with the reality of the situation, and move forward. She said the one thing I CAN guarantee you is that WW will get a divorce from me, no matter how long I stall, beg, plead, etc. if that's what she wants, then the judge will grant it. Listen to the guys on here, they know what they are talking about. You are gonna drive yourself crazy, I know I did. I feel like a huge weight is off of my shoulders now, I have felt more normal in the last 3 hours than I have in the last 5 months. Take the butterfly reference to heart. Accept, let go, and be the best you can be. What's meant to be will be. Accepting the reality will be the biggest relief you have felt in some time, I promise. It's tough, but you can do it.
jks,
What are your thoughts regarding what your attorney told you yesterday? What you posted to WshIKnw caught my attention.
What is your plan on signing the settlement agreement? You still thinking about it? It would be understandable all things considered. I would like to know if your feelings are the same today.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
Absolutely feel the same today.....do I still miss her, of course. But it hasn't consumed my thoughts today. I plan on signing settlement if she agrees to a few minor changes.
As far as what my attorney said, she just kind of gave me a reality check about the whole situation and was pretty firm about it. I guess it took hearing it from her for reality to sink in.
I'm not giving up by any means, who knows what the future holds. But for now, I am accepting the fact that D is going to happen and i am ready to see what the next chapter has in store for me with or without W. Going to continue DB'ing as well. It can only make me a better person.
Honestly, that is a great response. There is a difference between accepting the sitch at its current state and not giving up.
Right now, you are on your own path and she is on her own path. It will be a load off of your shoulders to get the settlement behind you. She will still try to suck you into her drama. Stay as far away from the drama as possible. Focus on getting yourself to a healthy and happy place. It will be well worth the time and effort.
As crappy as my sitch was, I am better for the growth and experience.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
I agree 100%. Crappy sitch for me too, but you know what? I was miserable with myself for 3 months before BD. Our marriage was headed down a dead end road, she could only take so much. To be honest, it's probably the best thing that has happened to me in a long time. It [censored], but I wouldn't have made the changes I needed to make if it wouldn't have. So, in part, I am thankful for her decision because It made me get back in touch with who I really am. Everything happens for a reason, I am convinced of that.
Got some new info this weekend. 6yo daughter told me mama has a new friend and that she has met him. Wow. After a week!, and we aren't even divorced yet. Unbelievable what they will do. Any similar situations? Advice on what to do?
In my case, I had my lawyer put language as to no paramours being around my children, and especially no sleepovers, etc.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
