Journey to the D

[RAI]

Tofbrks,

I agree with above. If my STBXW comes into my house, it is on MY terms. As a gesture of goodwill, I have invited her into my dining room on children's birthdays - for the children's sake. Outside of that, I will not have her in my home. It is not petty or bitter. I don't want her to violate my personal space. Also, I don't trust her - she has a proven track record of being a liar and thief. Also, what happens to her on my property is my responsibility and I don't want to be liable for anything. It is GOOD that it makes you uncomfortable. That is a protective reflex.

Best,

RAI

[Tofbrks]

Thanks guys for giving advice on the bday party and the closet issues. It seems during this process it kinda calls into question your judgement of all things...it's getting better the further I space myself away from her. I wouldn't worry so much about the bday party but when the kids are involved I want to make sound decisions and actions.

[Tofbrks]

Havent posted in a while but need more seasoned survivors for advice on this one.

I've tried and for the most part maintain a healthy father daughter relationship with my kids. Looking to not only play the dad role but actually be a dad. Long story short , D is dating this boy and overheard her asking what OM thought about a particular current issue withbsaid boy. D has not spoken with me about this but talked at length with her mom on it as I could overhear the convo. That hurt and will stick with me for sometime. D and I do talk about things going on and I thought I had a good rapport but evidently not. I try to give her space and just offer advice and guidance when asked .. I don't force my views on her .

Now from the other end and I keep these thoughts to myself, her mom has meddled in her social life since she was younger. Fast forward to present and the D... to me it seems ex and om are kinda (no really) using the connection with kids to validate the legitimacy of this new "family" -cringe-
Ex does and has been doing this with om sons, over stepping boundaries that most "normal " people have.

If it were me in that situation I would defer to the kids dad, as in that's something that you should be taking to you dad about... not use it in an attempt to further stake a claim into someone else's territory for your own satisfaction. I'm not above anyone being in my D life that genuine has her best interest at heart but this I have a problem with.

I want D to feel like she can make her own choices and mistakes , feeling comfortable to ask for advice, without the manipulation.

Does any of this make sense or am I off my rocker ..