I have been on the site for a bit but not posted, H mlc started before march 2013 but I got ilbnilwu then. Still in same house living as roommates. H knows I do not want a divorce or separation, but with this news I am thinking of it more and more. Have read both D B and D R but have not implemented anything much as I try to live by the 37 rules. Ow came and went, he is looking for alternatives I am silent on the fact that I know .
Need advice on telling him the news as I only learnt today...
You may be on moderation now, post in small frequent replies and stay on this thread until you reach 100 posts (for your thread, you can also post on other peoples threads to give support). Especially on this Newcomers forum, where the posting activity is very active, and your posts can quickly fall to the bottom of the page or even several pages down. Keep journaling and asking questions - people will come! Most important - POST!
Get out and Get a Life (GAL). DETACH.
Believe none of what he or she says and half of what he/she does.
Have NO EXPECTATIONS.
Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise.
Take the parts of this advice that you need and don't worry if I have repeated something that you have already done.
Here are a few links to threads that will help you immensely:
I have been on the site for a bit but not posted, H mlc started before march 2013 but I got ilbnilwu then. Still in same house living as roommates. H knows I do not want a divorce or separation, but with this news I am thinking of it more and more. Have read both D B and D R but have not implemented anything much as I try to live by the 37 rules. Ow came and went, he is looking for alternatives I am silent on the fact that I know .
Need advice on telling him the news as I only learnt today...
Hello Lostinl,
I'm so sorry for the situation you are in.
Would you please be more specific regarding the news you just learned? Sure, leaving might seem easier, but it isn't. Leaving just creates a different set of issues. Speaking with one of our DB Coaches will help you clarify your goals.
Knowing what to do and what not to do at this point is crucial. Feel free to give me a call at 303-444-7004 to discuss how we can best help you determine what to do next.
Cristy
Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004
A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.
Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004 for more information or to get started right away.
Just keep POSTING and one other bit of advice from Wonka that I totally agree with.
Originally Posted By: Wonka
Get DR/DB book. Keep this to yourself. DO NOT share this book or this site at all with your spouse. It is your playbook and not to be shared with the "opposing" team.
It is important to clear the search/browsing history from your computer on a daily basis to prevent the possibility for your WAS to stumble on the DB site and discover your posts here on DB. Erasing the search history will protect your posts and you as well.
We have seen too many Marriages blow up in pieces after the WAS discovers the DB site or DR book. Why is that? It is because the WAS thinks, erroneously I might add, that you are "manipulating" them back into the M.
Keep the DR book and DB site very close to your vest.
Sorry have not been well, therefore not on the last week. I am pregnant and there is no OW but he seems to be looking for one, I guess he believes we are through. I would like to call the coaches but I live in Europe and am a stay at home mum, so income is closely monitored. I have been getting a life as much as possible.
The advice I was looking for was how to tell him, but I have do that and he seemed excited. I am reading as much as possible but my brain seems to be a bit mushy I guess it is the hormones.
Sorry have not been well, therefore not on the last week. I am pregnant and there is no OW but he seems to be looking for one, I guess he believes we are through. I would like to call the coaches but I live in Europe and am a stay at home mum, so income is closely monitored. I have been getting a life as much as possible.
The advice I was looking for was how to tell him, but I have do that and he seemed excited. I am reading as much as possible but my brain seems to be a bit mushy I guess it is the hormones.
Sounds like the best thing is to take care of yourself and your baby right now. That should be priority #1
Thank you Cadet, that is what I am doing at the moment. I must say he is treating me with concern, asking about how I am feeling, it feels nice but I am guarding my heart like a dragon, no flames just eyeing out the terrain.
Be sure to take very good care of yourself. I discovered SOs EA/PA during my 3rd trimester. I was a mess. As a result, my daughters first teeth were very weak. Turns out they develop during the 3rd trimester.
The dentist asked me at her 1st appt, were you under a lot of stress towards the end of your pregnancy?
Moral of the story, take very good care of yourself. Look into the Brigance diet.
M 42 H 39 T10 (-2yrs separation) S8 D5 DD 7/30/11 (EA&PA) Reconciled 6/2013 Separation in works 1/2017
