Andrea, Sounds wonderful! Enjoy your weekend alone together. Make it one to remember. Go back to when you were dating. Remember those feelings? Bring them back to your H and to yourself. You are doing great! Way to go! Rachael
Hi everybody: Thanks rachael for your wishes and i am totally decide to enjoy a kind of weekend you had adviced me... However he is a little sad, again the leg after two weeks of totally rest had injured yesterday while he was training for the marathon, so, he will ask the travel agency if they can bring us back the money but this is almost negate so... we will travel but he cant run the marathon, only walking...!! He is so frustrated... but i am there for him, and the positive is that hi hasnt rely his bad mood or fruatration on me... he is lovely, sad but lovely...!!... Yesterday he had a medical meeting and i need to accept i was feeling a little anxious about this... he came back early but my mood wasnt the best you know, all that memories came back... he noted i wasnt in my best mood, but i control myself and we enjyoed talking before bed time at last... I hope this doubts and anxious feelings pass with time... Well, see you around, tomorrow i will tell you if i go to NY or not...!! Andrea
Andrea, Lord girl, Your feelings of anxiety are so totally normal when you've been through what we have. There would be no way you wouldn't feel them. Time will help these feelings. That and your H showing you he loves you and cares deeply about your feelings now. I wish we could bypass all this mistrust and anxiety as its so distressing sometimes. Somedays we feel so confident-those are wonderful days. Other days when they do things that brings back all the bad memories we have to ask ourselves what do we know to be true. Because he had a meeting somehow it brought back bad feelings for you,but in actuallity he did nothing wrong. Feelings aren't right or wrong Andrea, they just are. We can't stop them, but we can look at what's happening that we know to be true and dispell some of our doubts. I emphasize SOME of our doubts. Some will be there no matter what we see,or what is happening around us. Its just part of the process of learning to trust them again. We can't get sucked in by these feelings too much. Its not good for our PMA, and we can get an attitude with our S, when they've done nothing wrong. I think to a certain extent they understand our doubts. They know we will have them. Hopefully they will do all they can to reassure us. We need alot of that during this time. Some of us get more than others-assurance that is. This is where you come to vent those doubts and feelings. Others will help you maybe put it into perspective. I'm so sorry to hear of your H's injury. He must be so disappointed! I do hope its something that will heal in time. I do hope all of our doubts and fears heal in time too. It WILL get better in time as everything does. Have a great weekend anyway-make it special! Rachael
Hi all... first thanks rachael for your beautifull reflextions...!! Well, we had gone to NY and spent great, lovely and intensive days out there...!!... was a wonderfull travel for both, he always seems to be enjoying it a lot, we laugh a lot, eat well, another things too... and he passed the final line...!!... so, thanks all for your best wishes... i am back on board...!! andrea
Ok... time to journal the positives of our travel, the first one after reconciliation and so different of the last travel to italy... on that travel, although we were reconciliated only 3 months before (the first reconciliation) he told me he got bored many times, and i found him nay times sad and a little not interested at all at me... even we makes loves a lot, almost every night on that travel, i never felt what i felt on this travel to NY... 1. I work so hard to show him support in his marathon... i walk, walk a lot to see him 5 times in all the road and he was so happy bc that...!! 2. We were always at great great humour... we laugh a lot, make jokes, was incredible 3. Although i had smoked (i was the only person who smoke between all that atletics person) he never get mad about that and understand i need that, also i smoked so little... and never in front of him bc i know he hated it 4. He was so care about me, what i need, what i wish... 5. we shared too much with other couples... 6. he was so affective with me all the time... 7. He receive with happiness the comments from the other people about me: "What a spuse you have, she is amazing how she travel a lot just to see you on the marathon and support you"... "You bth are a kind of couple that aways is laughing a lot"... etc 8. He is always so care to give me some details when some words bringing me back to the past... when he talked abour security policy on airports since 11 sept... he jumped that time he traveled with OW to florida.. like saying me "Thats travel isnt in my mind and i dont want to be in our mind" So, lets continue working on my fear and doubts feelings trying to value each day more all the great work is is doing and all the lovely details he is giviing me right now... andrea
YEAH ANDREA!!! You are making amazing headway in your R! All positives. Keep treating your H as if he is your best friend and he will treat you as his Queen. You are a queen Andrea. You have gone through this with dignity and class. Your H could not bare to leave you because of who you are. You are AWESOME!!!!! Keep giving us those positive reports-we love them....Rachael
Andrea, I found you. I have been wondering how you are doing and a friend told me that you are here. It sounds as if your m. is going well at this point. I'm so happy for you. I remember all the pain and suffering you went through, yet continued to hang on to your m. It looks as if all that you have done is paying off for you. I wish you so much happiness.
It has been a while since I have read anything on your situation. This doesn't even sound like the same h. you were with so many months ago!! Does he now seem like the "Old Husband" you married? I haven't had time to go back and update myself on you, but hope to soon. I am interested in what kinds of changes you are seeing in your h. Is there anything of the old husband still present or is this even better?
My dear Vee: how pleasent i am reading you again...!!... how much you had sgared with me, too much hurting and sad times...!!... so, yes, you can feel and read the changes in my h... I beleive my h is a new one... bc the former h i married was always negated to be affective, is just like a rebelion towards my wishes... not only during the crisis but before that... I beleive that seing me so decide doing my own life and wanting to feel loved and respected had made him think too much in himself, what he was doing, our R and our future... Now i can see in my actual h the same homour and mood, laughs and fun times we used to share since we married... now i feel him as confortable with the idea of being married and compromise with only one person, as the day we went to church to get married... now i can see in his eyes peace and happiness... not confution or depression... and now i can feel him so convince that a R is of two persons, and both need to work on that... but my h is a new one... and i am a new spouse... and all bc the crisis, and all bc our changes and growth..!!.. I beleive i also learn to accept this new man he had converted since he lost all that kilograms... and he had learned to love and share with this new women i am too...!!...
Now i havent too much time to post you specific changes, and specific things of the past h that are still there... but later with more times i will do it... Vee, it is always glad to know about you... whats your situation right now...?... thanks for stoping in my thread
However he is a little sad, again the leg after two weeks of totally rest had injured yesterday while he was training for the marathon, so, he will ask the travel agency if they can bring us back the money but this is almost negate so... we will travel but he cant run the marathon, only walking...!! 
He is so frustrated... but i am there for him, and the positive is that hi hasnt rely his bad mood or fruatration on me... he is lovely, sad but lovely...!!...