I would always get her a card and take her out to dinner. We would never get each other gifts. But because of the sitch I was just going to text her. I did not want to pressure her into thinking about it. If it was a few months ago I would have sent flowers to her work but from all that I have read and Sandie's 37 rules I do not want to do that. I just do not want her to think that I forgot about it. I am not sure what to do. I need to do something so that she does not think I forgot.
Love is a decision. Genuine love is honor put into action, regardless of the cost.
Me:43 W:41 M:21 SS:25 S:19 D:18 BD1:3/16 BD2:10/16 W moves out 10/2/16
I just do not want her to think that I forgot about it. I am not sure what to do. I need to do something so that she does not think I forgot.
Why? Why is it important she knows you have not forgotten?
This is coming from the same man who was ready to confront her about sleeping with POM2 a few days ago.......and now, it is despartely important to YOU that she won't think you forgot her on your anniversary.
This is what I call the product of husband conditioning. And LBH'S want to use every event to show their WW he's still "cares". Regardless that she left and may be on OM #2, you feel you MUST do something, so she won't think you forgot or do not care. Why?
Truth is, it's you that will have the sentimental feelings of the anniversary. You will be the one looking to see if she sends a text and if she mentions it. It is you that wants to show her you still care. And, it's you who will go through this all over again on Feb 14.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Truth is, it's you that will have the sentimental feelings of the anniversary. You will be the one looking to see if she sends a text and if she mentions it. It is you that wants to show her you still care. And, it's you who will go through this all over again on Feb 14.
Boom.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
I would just let the day pass - if you've never forgotten about it previously I wouldn't worry about it. She's very aware of what day it is and knows that you know too but has made her own choices. It's one of the consequences of being separated.
I faced a similar dilemma a few months ago and just let the day passed - W actually suggested having dinner together as a family - the day of - but I already had plans.
Me: 40 W: 45 T: 13, M: 11 1 D: 9
Suspect A 6/15 ILBINILWY 8/15, and 3/16 EA/PA Discovered 3/16 EA admitted 3/16 W Moved out 4/16 W opens R talk and says A over 1/17
Here's the thing, guys. It has nothing to do about remembering or forgetting a birthday or Valentines Day. She chose to dishonor her H and their M. Why, in the name of sanity, would a man buy cards or gifts to give the woman who disrespects him? B/c he fears what she may think? Trust me......her thoughts about her H was formed quite some time ago (and it had little to do about cards and gifts). To cater, pursue, or show she is still the center of his thoughts.....is not effective. It only sets you farther back .
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Why, in the name of sanity, would a man buy cards or gifts to give the woman who disrespects him? B/c he fears what she may think? Trust me......her thoughts about her H was formed quite some time ago (and it had little to do about cards and gifts).
Probably one of the most solid things on here. Sandi, I may have to quote this from time to time.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
