Hello all'im not to good at this let me first say what fantastic people you all are and great place this is for people like me I wish I had found it sooner I will try and put my story in short' All started march 2012'me and wife had big argument she was going out with friends a lot but would not go any where with me then she said I want a divorce so I ended up sleeping on couch down stairs she had bedroom if she did not get her own way she would go into a rage some times attacking me so I let her have her own way I couldent talk to her couldent reason with her I was non eggshells most of the time I was kind of in shock 'then after about 6 months of me staying out of the way in the front room and her in bedroom all the time 'we some how ended up sleeping together a lot,over the next 4 years on and off,I was kind of in a daze did not understand,we would be like normal for 3 months then not talk for 2 months after an argument over nothing,did notice in June 2014 she was going out dolled up a lot but she said there was nothing going on and all ways saying she loved me and she would never be unfaithful and I believed her,we have 4 adults kids 2 at home ,and married for 30 years,then in early 2015 we had big argument and this time I started to fight back kept telling her to get a divorce I wanted it we can't go on like this I kind of kept pushing her and we divorced,but it carried on her upstairs me downstairs but sleeping together for months then having argument and not talking just cycling I was in no mans land thought I was going nuts,she seemed happy with this setup,then early 2016 we argued and started saying you need to get your own place now and get out I was nasty saying it to her all the time,,then in February she got a place and moved out,then some how she ended up staying at my place 3 times a week and I would go round hers still saying she loved me and she would never be unfaithull to me and again I believed her,in may 2016 things seemed better she was being nice we was going out together a lot but she dident want anyone to know,then in June I noticed she was being different and not wanting to see me much ,I asked if she was seeing some one gut instinct,she said no,this went on for a bit,then one night I followed her and she went to hotel and met with a Nigerian coworker,that was it not spoke since that was in July 2016,then in November she got new convertable car,and they been having lot of so called work party's,,this has done my head in,she was a good mother and wife for 30 years,now I don't know who she is,in feel drained with it all,
Me 56 w52 M30 years 4x adult kids W dad died/11 W wanted d 03/12 In-house sep 03/12 D 2014 I pushed W Left on 02/16 I pushed Pa on 07/16 Nc after 07/16 W Cakeating 15to16 Me doormat 12to16 Limbo 12to16
You may be on moderation now, post in small frequent replies and stay on this thread until you reach 100 posts (for your thread, you can also post on other peoples threads to give support). Especially on this Newcomers forum, where the posting activity is very active, and your posts can quickly fall to the bottom of the page or even several pages down. Keep journaling and asking questions - people will come! Most important - POST!
Get out and Get a Life (GAL). DETACH.
Believe none of what he or she says and half of what he/she does.
Have NO EXPECTATIONS.
Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise.
Take the parts of this advice that you need and don't worry if I have repeated something that you have already done.
Here are a few links to threads that will help you immensely:
Thank you cadet,happy new year my friend,you all do a great job,its good to have help when your having this in your life BTW I'm 56 wife/alien is 52, just don't understand what we have done to get put through the shredder like this,
Me 56 w52 M30 years 4x adult kids W dad died/11 W wanted d 03/12 In-house sep 03/12 D 2014 I pushed W Left on 02/16 I pushed Pa on 07/16 Nc after 07/16 W Cakeating 15to16 Me doormat 12to16 Limbo 12to16
It would be great if any one can give any advice,on any of this,I'm pretty sure from what I've read she is in mlc but not sure,the last time spoke to her in July she said she loves me but not in love with me,,just wish I had found this site sooner,I did not know it was mlc so I think I did things all wrong,I do know she is in menapause,
Me 56 w52 M30 years 4x adult kids W dad died/11 W wanted d 03/12 In-house sep 03/12 D 2014 I pushed W Left on 02/16 I pushed Pa on 07/16 Nc after 07/16 W Cakeating 15to16 Me doormat 12to16 Limbo 12to16
Also,since bd I can see all or most of what she said before bd was lies 100,s of them,but I was in a daze and believed everything she said,compulsive lier,now she is doing the same with my d31 and s25 trying to cover up her hotel meetings,they both are getting upset with how she is acting no time for them.
Me 56 w52 M30 years 4x adult kids W dad died/11 W wanted d 03/12 In-house sep 03/12 D 2014 I pushed W Left on 02/16 I pushed Pa on 07/16 Nc after 07/16 W Cakeating 15to16 Me doormat 12to16 Limbo 12to16
What can we do to help you? I have several questions, but I will try to hold back to only two for now. What was your role in the beakdown in the marriage relationship?
Hope you will post often and tell us more, if possible.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
My role just being a good husband allways there for her no matter what we was very close then her father died who she was very close with to just before she changed my children also say she changed when he died early 2011,since then she is not her self,she loved her dad dearly but never cried I couldent understand that,her mum left her dad when she was 10 and brought them all up alone her and 3 brothers and she kind of took mums job when she said about divorce I was blindsided,I don't think I did anything much wrong never hit her or been unfathfull or any thing like that but we did have arguments like couples do but she was in with kind of the wrong croud'and yes I think I was to soft and she treated me like a doormat ,I had not long had an heart attack and knocked the stuffing out of me,so wasent my self I suppose'
Me 56 w52 M30 years 4x adult kids W dad died/11 W wanted d 03/12 In-house sep 03/12 D 2014 I pushed W Left on 02/16 I pushed Pa on 07/16 Nc after 07/16 W Cakeating 15to16 Me doormat 12to16 Limbo 12to16
Do you think she is in mlc,will she ever come out of it ,she acts like 17 year oldiI i s spending money like water,flirting with all male coworkers married or not,the main guy she is having affair with is married,I saw her in the car then other day and she turned away and put her down,do think that is her feeling guilt or shame'
Me 56 w52 M30 years 4x adult kids W dad died/11 W wanted d 03/12 In-house sep 03/12 D 2014 I pushed W Left on 02/16 I pushed Pa on 07/16 Nc after 07/16 W Cakeating 15to16 Me doormat 12to16 Limbo 12to16
She kind of broke me,but I am slowly getting better,I loved her so much,I'm eating OK now and sleeping soso,lost weight but look better,I have the house I have everything I need so I'm OK ,starting to go out with friends more,getting on well with my kids and grand children,I miss the dog she took him,I probly should of taught for him but she was raging so I let her take him,
Me 56 w52 M30 years 4x adult kids W dad died/11 W wanted d 03/12 In-house sep 03/12 D 2014 I pushed W Left on 02/16 I pushed Pa on 07/16 Nc after 07/16 W Cakeating 15to16 Me doormat 12to16 Limbo 12to16
