My wife wants a divorce and she is very hateful right now, she wants me to leave,when I think about it it makes sense for me to go so she can have some peace,,she is doing everything possible to make me uncomfortable in the house,I'm pretty sure she's talking with someone other guy, she has before, when we had problems before,, the thing is I don't feel right leaving my kids, I'm not going to be able to help with bills right now, and my wife isn't working at the time,, I don't think I could leave them on my own,,
I went ahead and moved your post to Newcomers so that more people will see it and be able to offer support.
I'm so sorry for the situation you are in. Don't be so quick to move out of the house. Listen to your instinct regarding not wanting to leave the kids.
Knowing what to do and what not to do at this point is crucial. Feel free to give me a call at 303-444-7004 to discuss how we can best help you determine what to do next.
Cristy Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004
A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.
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You may be on moderation now, post in small frequent replies and stay on this thread until you reach 100 posts (for your thread, you can also post on other peoples threads to give support). Especially on this Newcomers forum, where the posting activity is very active, and your posts can quickly fall to the bottom of the page or even several pages down. Keep journaling and asking questions - people will come! Most important - POST!
Get out and Get a Life (GAL). DETACH.
Believe none of what he or she says and half of what he/she does.
Have NO EXPECTATIONS.
Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise.
Take the parts of this advice that you need and don't worry if I have repeated something that you have already done.
Here are a few links to threads that will help you immensely:
Hi Luis, I'm sorry for your situation. The more information you give us the more support and advice you'll get. If you look around the boards you'll see you are in good company with some wonderfully wise vets who know what you are going through.
Has anyone been pushed to the limit, my wife is trying hard to get me out, I'm going to do my best to detach myself, I headed to a dark place, I'm trying not to, I wonder if she could forgive me, or start being a little nicer about things anytime soon,, any advice out there
We need more info on your story if we are going to be able to offer any useful advice. We need the whole back story so lay it on it. For now, start reading the homework that Cadet gave you. Its invaluable. Do you have the book(s). If not, get them and read them.
Do NOT.....I repeat, do NOT move out of the house. Do NOT even move out of the MBR. If she's so miserable, then she can be the one to leave.
Me: 48 y/o W: 47 y/o Together: > 20 yrs BD: Dec '15, then S 2nd BD: Mar '16, then I filed for D April '16: started piecing
Are there any way to tell if my I should go in the dark, if my wife wants a divorce but she still needs wants me to drive her around, right now she's under medical restrictions, should I let her find her own way, if she really means what she says that she doesn't want anything from me, the only time she talks is when she wants or needs anything, I'm confused, and is there a way back from the point of no return I NEED HELP
My wife and I been married for 9 years, I am a recovering alcoholic, we had a hard beginning because of it, I ended getting help for it, 4 years ago, we made it pass that, and I've been working hard on myself, but somehow we end up arguing and all the feelings she has keeps coming back, we went to counseling and we started working together, things were going good, not perfect but we were able to maintain stability, I made sure to ask randomly if our relationship is ok and if there is anything else we can work on, I'm always open for suggestions on trying to better myself, so far she's been ok with everything, she has said, recently I failed a drug test, I'm not making excuses I did something wrong it was a one time thing and it bit me in the end, now she says she lost trust, and that I lied about it, I did in the beginning, worried about the the outcome of it, but I did come clean half hr later, I didn't want to keep up with lies, now she wants a divorce, she won't talk unless she needs something, and she avoids me all day,,,,and tries very hard for me to leave the house, I don't know what to do can't get myself to leave my wife and kids, she's on medical restrictions, so I drive her to her appointments, my kids are scared, they don't want to go, what would be the best thing I can do,,,, PLEASE DOES SOMEONE HAVE ANY ADVICE, I've done everything I could ever do to help my wife and kids, I do understand what I've done, I don't have any excuses, I did something wrong, now what to do
I personally believe that going dark should mainly be used when there is an A going on. If there isn't, I would stop just short of that but you definitely need to detach, 180 and GAL. She wants a D but still wants you to drive around and take care of her? That's cake eating BS. Dont do it. If she doesn't want to be M to you then she needs to know what life is going to be like without you. Do you have the book? Get it and read it. Are you going to IC? You should be.
Me: 48 y/o W: 47 y/o Together: > 20 yrs BD: Dec '15, then S 2nd BD: Mar '16, then I filed for D April '16: started piecing
