@Sandi: You are right, it is definitely addictive snooping at this point. I suppose subconsciously I am looking for "THE KEY" to definitively proving what she is doing. I also believe that this would be a "hail mary" attempt to break her out of the craziness that she is in....I know...not likely
@Coconut: Thanks for your words of encouragement. I have often thought about what would have or would currently happen if I just laid the law down like that and said something along the lines of "If this is what you are going to do to me, then I don't want you in my life right now. However there are consequences for your actions so be prepared"....And then just going nuclear. Of course this isn't my personality so it's purely a feel good imagination.
@MrBond: It means foreigner in Mandarin (mostly used for westerners/expats). mostly it's used in a light hearted manner, but can be used in a derogatory way at times. While I was traveling around China it was always used respectfully, so it holds no negative connotation in my mind.
@Sotto: I am doing about the same today except I did get some sleep last night which was good. I'm still struggling quite a bit with the mind movies and wish I could force them away, but it doesn't seem that I can at this time. I am going to try to work out at home tonight. I want to avoid a gym for a while because around here they are so crowded there isn't any parking for the most part(New Year's Resolution folks). I do think working out would be good for me, but I feel so awkward doing it because I have no idea what I am doing and don't have a routine LOL!
[quote=Laowai I am going to try to work out at home tonight. I want to avoid a gym for a while because around here they are so crowded there isn't any parking for the most part(New Year's Resolution folks). I do think working out would be good for me, but I feel so awkward doing it because I have no idea what I am doing and don't have a routine LOL! [/quote]
When crap went down with my W and I, the first thing I did is hit the gym. I didn't care who was around or how busy it was or how stupid I looked, I had to do something for myself. The day I signed up was on my way home from work, and I did a solid half hour on a treadmill wearing my work boots and uniform.
No offense, but I never used any excuse when going to the gym. I either waited for a machine or worked out something else. It helped my mind and psyche more than any anti-depressant. I needed to get out and about in the world - working out at home would only depress me more. I needed the gym atmosphere.
Me: 52 Her: 48 2D 26 & 16 M: 25 years (together 30) EA/discovered by accident Valentines day 2016 Admitted SOME physical but no IC. We know that's a lie. Status - tryin to R
Laowai -- suck it up and go to the gym. You'll get a parking spot, and everyone in there looks somewhat ridiculous. Get going. You'll feel so much better when you start doing something FOR YOU instead of just laying back and being life's and your wife's punching bag. I promise. The key is to overcome the inertia that's keeping you in the muck, get going, and it will steamroll benevolently from there. We are all pulling for you. Kick some ass.
Me: 46 W: 44 Married: 17 Together 21 D13; S10 BD: 03.03.15 (Not attracted to you) Almost 2 years trying, alone, to save marriage Status now: Divorced (effective 06.13.17)
Laowai -- suck it up and go to the gym. You'll get a parking spot, and everyone in there looks somewhat ridiculous. Get going. You'll feel so much better when you start doing something FOR YOU instead of just laying back and being life's and your wife's punching bag. I promise. The key is to overcome the inertia that's keeping you in the muck, get going, and it will steamroll benevolently from there. We are all pulling for you. Kick some ass.
Agreed. There is not a better moment than RIGHT NOW. No excuses!
-PM
M:12y - BD:12/11 - D:6/13 - 4Ds
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." -MLK Jr.
I should have clarified. I have gym equipment at my house and was regularly using it up until the last 2 weeks when I fell back into this slump. I was saying I will try to make myself workout tonight haha. Which I am going to do here in just a little bit.
I recommend the Body Beast program for working out at home. Its inexpensive from Amazon and all you need is a weight bench and some dumbbells. I've been doing it for the past year.
Me: 48 y/o W: 47 y/o Together: > 20 yrs BD: Dec '15, then S 2nd BD: Mar '16, then I filed for D April '16: started piecing
Now then, working out at home is good and many posters say that working out significantly helps them. For me in the early days I went on lots of walks and sitting outside seemed to help too. I also up cycled furniture in my Dad's garage. Find those activities that work for you and do them..
I also joined some new things that were more social...including an infidelity support group. It really helps to bring yourself into contact with others too and I'd like to see you make some plans in this area...
Xx
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
