Lol I saw that after my post. So what? It's a learning moment if a younger gal likes you in the future go for it. Or What if a 70 year old tickled ur feathers? Would you say no to a fulfilling life cause of age .
I get that a divorce skews people and future relationships. Some are ok with being single some arent. It's your choice. Like I asked you before. What's the worse that can happen? Take a chance my friend
M 53 D 20 Separated 6/22/11 moved out 10/24 Together 26 yrs Married 16 W Filed for D 7/21/11 Served 9/6/11 D final 8/28/12
“Failure is not fatal, but failure to change might be.”
Woh... what a surprise!!!! Hopefully, the friendship stays strong.. at least, she did not hide it from you. Re-focus, regroup and keep on going.. Easier said than done at times but you seem ok. Stay humble, stay kind, stay gentleman, stay Tad!!
I guess I have a bit of a different take on several levels. First, my gut would tell me that she never saw you as more than a friend in the first place. Because I was not there, that's just a guess. Now on the other hand I also put as much stock in she was interested. I may actually put more stock in that. She clearly wanted to do things. She asked you over many times, extended times together with you. Yet, you did nothing to foster that or show her you were interested. She may have figured that she gave you multiple signals and opportunities but you never took them - therefore you are not interested. I personally think you should have tried a bit more and let her know. She clearly was ready to date SOMEONE. Girls often will respond and get a more romantic feeling if things go that direction. From my view, you friend zoned Yourself.
I just say these thing so you might use it as a learning expierence for the next time - with her or with someone else.
And then it doesn't bother you? You don't care? Honestly? You seemed rather interested and hopeful in her to now not care. It's alright if you did. If you truly did not, she may have sence that as well. It may also be why you didn't try to take Things to the next level
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Hi Tad, Just to say, I think your lady friend means a lot to you. She might or might not want more than just friendship with you. Tell me do the lyric’s of the following song mean anything to you? Please check the song out, it’s by the Bee Gees 1972. And for my money this song has never been bettered.
I was only 13 years old when it was released & the DJ at the teeny boppers weekly disco, would always play it. It means a lot to me, I always new I had pain in my heart (from my childhood) but I didn’t know just how much pain there was until Ex wife left us, then I had double the pain to deal with.
Love Delboy
‘Run To Me’
If ever you got rain in your heart Someone has hurt you, and torn you apart Am I unwise, to open up your eyes, to love me?
And let it be, like they said it would be Me loving you girl, and you loving me Am I unwise, to open up your eyes, to love me?
Run to me, whenever you're lonely (to love me) Run to me, if you need a shoulder Now and then, you need someone older So darling, you run to me
And when you're out in the cold No-one beside you, and no-one to hold Am I unwise, to open up your eyes, to love me?
And when you've got nothing to lose Nothing to pay for, and nothing to choose Am I unwise, to open up your eyes, to love me
Run to me, whenever you're lonely (to love me) Run to me, if you need a shoulder Now and then, you need someone older So darling, you run to me
Run to me, whenever you're lonely Run to me, if you need a shoulder Now and then, you need someone older So darling, you run to me
Run to me, whenever you're lonely Run to me, if you need a shoulder Now and then, you need someone older…….
Once a woman friend zone's you, it's hard to move out of that arena, but it sure did seem like she was interested.
What's more interesting to me is your reaction. Hmmm. Maybe sit with that for a bit. My gut says her NG isn't gonna last and this one might come back again. But - do you really want her or was part of the appeal that you weren't sure she was interested?
Anyway, happy New Year. xoxoxoxo
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
I agree w/the others on the info that your friend told you about the NG. I do have a thought about what she said...maybe the NG is just a friend and she was testing the waters w/you to see how you would react. Time will tell just what is going on w/her and this NG.
Tad, just go about your business as you would normally do. I wouldn't treat her any differently and see what happens.
Happy New Year!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I guess the main reason that it didn't bother me was the fact that she told me a long time ago that she does not date co-workers. On the other hand, I was getting signals that seemed like she was interested. So.....who knows?
As I said, a girlfriend would just complicate things right now. To be honest, I could take it or leave it.
Sure, I was hopeful, but I really had no expectations.
We are friends and that's the way it will stay for now.
I hope everyone has a great New Year.
I am spending the evening quietly at home by myself.
Tad
Currently: M 56 XW 57 Sons 38,33,31,29
The Sitch: Married 26 years EA w/ OM 9/10 Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary) Sep 12/10 She wants D 1/11 W files 5/11 D final 10/11 XW marries OM 6/13
BTW, I think you have a good attitude about your co-worker and remaining friends.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I'm sitting at home flipping through the channels on the tv and I get a text from Lady Friend:
LF: "I was thinking about going to XXX tonight for Chinese and wondered if you'd feel like joining me."
ME: "Hmmm....what time?"
LF: "I'm flexible. Whatever works for you."
ME: "Just want to meet there around 6:30?"
LF: "Yes, that's good."
ME: "Cool."
LF: "Ok. See you then!"
I guess I'm kind of confused. She is supposedly seeing someone. Maybe she is just being nice? Maybe she isn't really serious about him? Maybe she is playing games?
I don't know what to think.
Tad
Currently: M 56 XW 57 Sons 38,33,31,29
The Sitch: Married 26 years EA w/ OM 9/10 Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary) Sep 12/10 She wants D 1/11 W files 5/11 D final 10/11 XW marries OM 6/13
Please don't try to mind read...if you want to go out and have some nice food and good company, then go. It's very evident that she enjoys your company and doesn't feel any pressure by you for anything more than a friendship.
Go, have fun and eat some delicious Chinese food!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
. 