Blueboy rebuilding life one step at a time.

[blueboy]

Story so far, I n brief as there is so much.

Bombshell Number 1
In April 2016, I got the ILYBNILWY speech, W then informed me that she had meet someone else and had a opportunity to have a relationship with this OM. W asked at point for a separation, I stupidly believed the wife was having an EA only.

We agree a in house separation as W refused to give up OM, W then started a PA with OM or so I thought, actual it start 2 week before the ILYBINLWY speech. I force though sale of family home, and begin formal separation arrangements.
W broken down after 5 weeks and stating she had made a massive mistake and still love me, by this point PA had been going on 8 weeks.

W from this point agreed NC, and was very remorseful and full of regret regarding her actions. We agreed to work on our M and decide a to have a fresh start and move to a new house in a new area. We started to attend MC, IC to work though our issues.

By August 2016 we were in our new house, things had process and we were making progress, I was still dealing with all the issues of my W actions.

Second Bomb Dropped


Then bombshell number 2 was dropped, to check on whether NC was being kept, I download W phone messages. NC was in place no problem, however I found messages dating back to 2015 to OM2. When challenged W admitted to another short PA, but without full intercourse but other sexual acts . I was destroyed, but having committed to reconciliation, which involved moving house, moving kids school etc and the fact I still loved my W, I decide to try and make thing work.

One week later bombshell number 3

W admitted to a further PA with OM3, once again no full intercourse but other sexual acts, at this point I felt like folding, but somehow am still hold on and hope to save my M.

Still here still fighting, dealing with one day at a time.

Not sure how to post links to pervious treads

[bigybiz]

Blueboy:

Thanks for your recent and very brave updates. I really do feel for you. For anyone else this would be unbearable. You are a star.

Many months ago I promised to pray for you daily. I still do and will continue.

Keep on, keeping on.

[blueboy]

Thanks Bigybiz, hope things are improving for you

[blueboy]

I suppose the issues and problems I'm having are split into two parts. One part is the emotional aspect of what happen and the other is the physical side. It almost as if I get a handle on one and then the other one spirals out of control and come to the fore.

I just not sure how to deal with what she physically did with these people and the fact that she had a full blown emotional relationship with one of those people.

When we split up I want nothing more then to get my marriage back, now I wonder why and if I didn't want it!

[blueboy]

Can't help like feeling I'm my W plan B.

I'm so alone and sad at the moment!

[Bippy78]

Is she still NC with all OMs?

[blueboy]

Yes, she has been NC for six months, everything is so painful, I have felt normal since this started in April!

[Gordie]

Feeling like plan B [censored]. I feel your pain.

[blueboy]

I have what most people want, a chance to rebuild and repair there marriage.

But I feel so low and destroyed by what happened, I just feel like giving up.

I seem to spirl further it to a mess, every day seem to be end pain.

[Gordie]

Every day is pain. Do you have a daily outlet for it? Vigorous exercise? A trusted friend? A counselor or spiritual advisor is good too, but they probably won't be there for the daily blow by blow. I learned the hard way you can't keep all of it inside.