Letter to your WAS-Don't send them-Post them here

[Tread]

Here goes nothing...

W I am upset that you did more sexually for a complete stranger who just happens to be your sisters married cousin. And then bragged about it as if the whole event was worthy of some kind of badge of honor. You treat this clown as some Savior. And this guy didn't even do as much as buy you a drink at the bar. While I waited almost two years to have sex with you. And did all the right things to court you. But you let a serial cheater have sex with you in the span of two days on a boat. Thanks for being a poster child for regretting being a nice guy who simply wanted to do right by you. And proving that an [censored] gets awarded in this world.

[EastTN]

XW,

D told me yesterday that (girl at school) told her that I was not actually her father. Then she changed her mind and said it was (boy at school). She finally said she didn't want to tell me who said it, because it hurt. I can only conclude that it was you.

You're using our little girl as a weapon. That's not love. Can't you see the damage you're doing? You're trying to be our daughter's primary residential parent, and she doesn't even have a bed at your house. She told me it was "put up" and that she never sleeps there. She says you don't have running water. What the [censored] is wrong with you?

I hear you in the mornings on the way to school. I hear you make her feel guilty about not saying "I love you." I hear you make her try to carry the conversation (she's SIX!) and get angry with her when she doesn't or can't. I hear you make her feel guilty when she doesn't want to talk.

Go [censored] yourself! She's not a toy. You don't play with her and then put her back on the shelf when you're done. She doesn't exist to validate your feelings. She's a person! She hurts! She misses her mother, she misses her family, she misses her old life. You don't seem to give a damn about her feelings. You don't seem to give a damn about anything.

I want to hate your guts. I refuse to allow myself to do that. She doesn't need her father to hate her mother. She doesn't need to see that behavior modeled. She needs love. And affection. And attention. And security. And joy. Why the hell don't you try giving her that for once.

[censored] you.

[AnotherStander]

I love this, great idea! I think it's cathartic to do these exercises, even for someone whose long since moved past D. Here's mine:

W, well it's been over 5 years now and to be honest I'm still confused about what happened. I was committed to you, the kids and the M for life and I know in my heart you felt the same up until the last year or two. You never told me what changed, maybe you don't know yourself. Sometimes you have to do what your heart tells you even if your mind says otherwise.

I know you've seen me change a lot since BD, I've become more of a free spirit- riding my motorcycles, pumping iron, getting all the ink work, dating someone half my age. But deep inside it's still me, that same young guy whose leather jacket you snuck into a hiding spot in your closet so he would have a reason to come see you again, the kid who talked you into playing hookie from work for the first time in your life so you could cuddle in bed with him a few more hours, the young man who stood on top of a light house with you and took your hand in his and said "let's get married" much to your surprise, the middle-aged man who stood with tears in his eyes as he watched his first child being born, the aging man who sat next to you with tears again watching that same baby walk across the stage with her college degree in her hand. So many wonderful, amazing moments together, both remembered and forgotten.

I saw myself living out my remaining years with you, in sickness and in health. But life had other plans, and even though I am happy and living a full life, I will always carry that loss and sadness in my heart too. I hope you look back on our time together with the same sense of warmth and love that I do. And I truly hope your future is filled with joy and happiness.

[TBSakaJ9]

Stop AS your making me cry at work

[joejoe1]

AS,

Wow, that was powerful. The whole post, was done with love. There was no hate or resentment. You are a gift from above.

[Tread]

AnotherStander,

Got me holding back tears. I feel that years down the line I too might be able to write such a letter to my own W. Perhaps I will have young 20 something on my arm at the time. 😀

[Matrix]

I am so glad that people are using this thread to vent or say the things you want to say to your WS. I know many of the posts might be angry words and that's OK. That is why it's good to post them here and not say it or write it to our WS. It is also nice to read some of the loving and forgiving posts as well. Keep it up and don't be afraid to let loose.

[Gordie]

Dear w,

How are you enjoying your weekend away with om2?

Kids and I are great here at home, enjoying family activities without you.

All your friends say hi.

Gordie