It's confession time. I guess. Yes, I had two more dates lined-up with two different women, but I cancelled one because my sons were home and they wanted to do something with me. The second one was going to be a long date; this other woman asked me to go to a college football game with her. She said she knew it was an unusual first date, but she thought I might like it. Actually, I liked the idea, but when we were talking on the phone I was walking through Home Depot and I realized that I wanted to work on my current project more than I wanted to go on a date with her. I guess that's not good, but I just didn't feel like going home and taking a shower and getting ready for the game.
Then there's another one who's been bugging me via email (that was probably a mistake) and I know her name is Michelle, but I don't really recall who's who and they all seem like old ladies. I don't care about age, but I don't want an old lady of any age. I'm ready to kick @ss and set the world on fire and they seem to want a loving grandpa type. I'm a loving guy, but d@mn, I've got a sh*t ton of stuff to do and none of it includes shuffling around complaining about a bad back and blown-out knees.
So there, it's out in the open. So far, I've been a terrible date (or non-date). I think I'm going to start preparing for another ultramarathon; there are a lot of @ss kicking women at those events.
I get you, doodler. I don't really dip into the online pool these days because I'm not sure I care enough to be there. I also have a religious faith issue which can throw a fly into the ointment. I'm coming to the conclusion that I would be most comfortable with someone of my denomination who cares about what I care about and doesn't just "tolerate" it. On dating sites, all I have to do is say I want my matches to be Seventh Day Adventist...and the matches dry up instantly lol. Anyway, Ginger I prefer to have guidelines rather than rules. We all look at our experiences and notice patterns...when I do such and such it doesn't work so we decide not to do it. It saves us time and energy. For example, online I don't approach women who write "ask me" as their profile...it you're too damn lazy to write something then what can I expect from you as a potential partner, probably not much. Now, I could be wrong but on the most part experience teaches us who and what we want to put our energy into. So, guidelines are good but not golden rules! When you make an exception then know why you're making it and recognize that you are taking a chance...and it could turn out bad. YOU make that choice and therefore are no longer the victim of that person you chose to violate your guideline for. Again, set a pace you are comfortable with and don't just toss aside your "rules" to make him happy...I sense you do that. Let us know how things flush out with the plumber
ha ha, my church has about 100 members...but I do hang out with the single Filipina's in their 30's and the 75 -85 year old singles too. Both groups of women like to feed me and send food home with me so who's complaining lol.
Sorry for filling up your thread here Ginger. It will son be time for a new one thanks in part to me and my sarcastic nonsense. That said, I do have to get a bit serious here on Doodler. While I totally get where you are at, two things hit me about what appears to be cancelling last minute on these dates. It's not fair to them and putting myself in their shoes it does concern me a bit. I remember the one from a month ago while you were away with the kids. You were going to bail on her but then you got back in time so you went. My point here is, I know it would bother me if this happened to me - actually it has and it does. I totally get you are not in that place to be dating, but to this lady, she was probably excited that this seemingly cool, fun guy named Doodler is going to the game with her - only last minute you bail. That's not nice. Part two of this is it seems to feed on itself - all of it. Guys or gals get cancelled on, stood up or ghosted so the behavior gets perpetuated. I totally see how that happens. It's almost like its become accepted behavior for online dating. I remember when it was considered wrong to break up with someone over the phone, then later over text. Now they don't even break up at all - just ghost the person away. I'm not talking you here Doodler, just in general. But back to you, if you're not ready to date, that's totally okay. If you are not into the woman because she just acts and lives like an old grandma, that's okay too. Nothing says you have to date everyone that messages you. BUT it's not okay to say yes and then bail last minute or hours prior. Think of Michelle being Ginger. Would you do that to her? So don't do it to strangers either. No wonder online dating is so hard and getting harder all the time. It's almost as if everyone has turned it into a platform where the rules of dating have gone out the window and nothing matters because it's just online - sort of like how people will put something on Facebook or in a comments section they would never, ever have the guts to say in person. As if, "it's not real, it's just online." Michelle is real and I can nearly assure you, regardless of what she said to you when you cancelled, she was bummed out and you just became her latest online dating story. You're better than that.
Okay and I'm done with that. Just had to put that out there. As I used for the title on my current thread, this used to be easier, and a whole lot more fun!
DonH Midwest Me 56 WAW-EXW 55 Met 11/95 / Married 5/00 Bomb 6/20/05 / She Filed on 6/2/06 / Divorced on 10/9/06 4 who'd qualify as GF since D & dated about 25 women since D
Oh G, I'm glad things are working out with you and The Plumber aka EHarmonyGuy! He sounded like such a weird mixture of nice respectful guy in person, and fresh disrespectful guy via text.
You are one in a million, and deserve respect. And love, kindness, being cherished! So glad he treats you well. I'm a bit envious of that 10 minute drive!!
Linda
Me 65, Ex 64 M 38 y 2 adult S, 4 G-Kids MLC 11/07 BD 12/09 D 3/14 Dating nice guy 7/14 Engaged to nice guy 12/17
I totally agree with both of you. I'm going to train for an ultra-marathon and screw the online dating stuff. Except, maybe, I'll stick around eHarmony for the hippie girl. If she's a Seventh Day Adventist, then I'll send her to whatisis. I'm betting she's Rastafarian.
