I'll just give a brief re-cap for anyone new. Around oct 2014, my h, a man who has always been so loving and close to me began to pull away. He had just been promoted and was being really pushed at work, he wanted to be successful at it- so he worked damn hard. I supported him physically and emotionally the best I could, I was his biggest cheerleader. Our lifestyle had undergone a huge shift already as we had just had a baby a few months before.
After a few months of him being a little distant, from super chatty and telling me absolutely everything. He had become withdrawn and silent. He started to change passwords on his phone, he had always been so open with that, we both had. I started to suspect ow. Jan 15, he told me he wanted a d. I made the mistakes, then came here and started the work. Although saying he wanted a D, he never seemed to research it seriously. He said we would do it once I'd "got my head around it". He moved into a spare room. Eventually he confirmed a EA, and he would cake eat, at times tell me he wasn't sure he wanted to D me and he still had feelings.
Apr 15, he called it off with ow. And asked if we could work through this, he was honest and admitted he slept with her a few times. In hindsight, I took him back quickly. We started to work through this and were completely transparent. But we didn't tackle the main issues. Again, Oct 15, he withdraws- no talk of D. For months, I endured a rollercoaster of ILYBNILWY then a month or so later ily. Back and forth. Things started to improve in May. We were close again. Having regular sex again. Mid June I realised I had fallen pregnant. Although, surprised and shocked (we both kind of were) h was so happy, said how we were closer to our big family he wanted with me. A week later, he's hiding his phone, I snooped and found suggestive flirty messages between them. With her giving advise that he should leave me and s "it's totally normal these days, not even a big deal". He then tells me that we aren't right for each other and he wants a divorce. He moved into the spare room again.
The papers are now filed and he is leaving soon. He still denies that there is a ow. But I'm no fool!! He's began the last couple days to begin to speak to me again. And he decided to share with me that he finds when he looks at me he struggles to contain his sexual urges. I'm resisting these words, it changes nothing. He still wants a D.
My focus now is absolutely on me. We are heading for a quick d, and I'm now figuring I just need to let him go and get on with my life for myself. I am the woman that he is a fool to loose, and maybe at some point he will see that for himself. But not in the way he is now, he would have to be my h, not the wh he currently is. And he is no way capable of being him.
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Had to have a late night trip to the hosp last night, I had some bleeding so panicked. After hours in there alone and bored, all was well- heard a very active heartbeat from baby, and everything with me looked fine. They just chalked it to "one of those things" maybe too much walking/heavy lifting. I only thought it would be right to tell wh how it went as it was to do with baby, no response. But I didn't think there would be.
Off to do some GAL-ing today. Again, wh told me that he wanted to spend time with S. I said okay, well I'm gonna be going out so that's fine you can take care of him while I'm gone. Today, after his night out, I don't know when he even got home (at my 5am bladder wake up call he wasn't home) he just got up and out, I said I thought you were looking after S, he said he had plans. I'm glad s is too young to understand. I fear he's fm going to be one of those kids waiting at the door for their dad to pick them up, and he never comes. I can't let him disappoint him like that. I shall just take him out with me, no biggy. Bit sad someone can pass up a chance to spend time with their child, but guess he can't manage that right now.
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Out to see a friend for coffee and a member nice little walk, not impossible with a toddler, just a little more hectic. Continuous pregnancy sickness makes me want to stay and hibernate, but I feel fresh air will serve me well. Not to mention give me a little gentle exercise!
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
Glad to hear the results were OK with the baby at the hospital. Have a great day!
H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6 S-9,8,8,6,4 S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15 EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16 PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16 XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16 Finally moving forward...
Out to see a friend for coffee and a member nice little walk, not impossible with a toddler, just a little more hectic. Continuous pregnancy sickness makes me want to stay and hibernate, but I feel fresh air will serve me well. Not to mention give me a little gentle exercise!
Sounds like a lovely GAL activity. Yes the hecticness of doing things with a toddler. I say enjoy the moment with him as before you know it you will look back and long for the "toddler " moments as they grow up so fast.
Do enjoy the fresh air and time with friend and s today.
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
Firstly. Glad all is okay after last nights trip to the hospital. Take it easy on that walk!
Sorry he's being such a prat. I hope this emphasises his lack of consistency, one minute telling you he can't resist you the next dropping your S! This last part angers me particularly.
I think it might be worth just revisiting the fantastic advice Blu gave you (Blu if you don't mind I have a question of my own on this - I will post it on my thread rather than hijack a Cherry's).
Quote:
Men do not go to the affair partner's house late at night to play board games. This is exactly what a PA is.
I am afraid this would seem to be the case. Let's be honest if it sounds and smells like BS it is. I have the same sitch. We all want to water down a PA to and EA either way - it's irrelevant. It's happened or it's happening. We can't control the past or their actions. Also lets not rewrite history of more importantly - let them.
Surfer.
M46/W40/D8/S6/T20/M12/Separated 6/2016,W takes kids Issues2009 Wpartying w/g.f's2013on EA2013PAdeniedWleavesMBR ImeetAP/EAhalts VariousBDDates MFCourse WSpew EAresumes I halt Wrages DBIng4/2016
Thank you all, yes was a welcome relief to hear all was good with baby
Yeah I need to keep reminding myself that before I know it he's going to be going out with his friends and won't want to be seen out with his mami!
Rosa, I absolutely agree! It comes to something when I got told yesterday that he is one of the worst waywards in the board, but yet he seems oblivious to his atupididty. Maybe one day he will realise, maybe not. But I'm going to be okay- I'm determined to be!
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
