Cld is beyond help. WAAAYY beyond which is why vets are staying the h@ll away from his thread. It's laughable that he claims that we are "attacking" him when we actually are calling him out on multiple inconsistencies and misinformation that he puts out in his own thread (and elsewhere in the DB forums). He's a master at projection and deflection.
As for being negative, you only need to go back to his earlier threads and decide for yourself who is being really "negative."
Cld's more interested in himself. Nothing more, nothing less. It is ALLLLLL about him. Cld sees his XW as an appendage to prop up his fragile sense of ego. Which is sad. XW is a mere chattel to toy around with...and she's smart to stay away from him.
I wouldn't bother with this schmuck at all.
He is a person who's gone through a very traumatic experience. His heart is broken and he sees this board as a way back to his wife. Just leave him alone, he has enough negativity in his life.
But his actions and advice run counter to DB. If we let his posts stand unchallenged, we risk having people who are new to the process read his posts and follow his advice.
The community has a responsibility to see that this board reflects DBing.
Me: 44 H: 44 Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10 Together/Married: 22 years H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16 H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
CLD, I would watch saying that divorces are a result of a "feminist" agenda. That's pretty insulting to women in general. And if you look through alot of these posts, divorces come from people with great family backgrounds. No one is immune.
Q, You can analyze it anyway you want, but the bottom line is that every situation and family is different. Your W may or may not have been influenced by certain things, but the truth remains that you don't know. You pursuing a "reason" is a form of control. You feel if you can find a reason, then you'll be at peace or make you feel better about it. Doesn't work that way. You'll find more questions than answers and in any event, it wouldn't change the situation as it exists right now.
Continue to concentrate on yourself and the things that make YOU happy. Again, it won't be immediate, but over time those voices in your head that are constantly asking 'why', will quiet.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
