At this time, I am asking the lawyer to make changes that instead of a separation, we go straight to divorce.
How about instead, you request that the lawyer add in a co-parenting agreement to the separation agreement? This would help define what would be acceptable during time with the children.
If you are divorced, shes still going to do the same antics.
There are a couple of things to think about when you talk with a lawyer. First, my wife and I didn't have a separation agreement so I was able to prevent her from taking my sons when they didn't want to leave me because we weren't divorced and we had no agreement. That worked to my advantage. Second, and this is something I didn't know prior to mediation, I was supposed to be paying child support during separation. Of course, if you have your children 100% of the time, there's no reason to pay child support to your wife.
Given your circumstances, or given your wife's current lifestyle, I wonder if she really cares if she has custody of the children. I'm sure she'll say she wants custody, but if she's not being a good mom, then now may be a good opportunity to make a case against allowing a 50-50 custody agreement.
Apparently there is not much I can do to prevent or stop her from doing whatever she is doing unless it is considered physically or emotionally damaging to the kids.
the agreement is currently 70/30 in favor of me. She acts like she wants more but I know she really doesn't.
Im not talking about custody.
Im talking about PARENTING.
For example, clauses about parenting methods, and notices, and scheduling, and dating, and so on. How to make life as good as possible for the kids going forward.
I see. Well unfortunately she is not willing to compromise on anything and feels she has every right to do whatever she wants so I am not sure co parenting agreement will work.
Well unfortunately she is not willing to compromise on anything and feels she has every right to do whatever she wants so I am not sure co parenting agreement will work.
So it will be like dropping the kids off at the moon 2 days a week and on the sun the other 5 days a week? Thats ludicrous. I get that things wont be identical, but in general, you should have similar concepts in order to do what is BEST FOR THE CHILDREN.
It isnt about you vs. her. It's about THEM.
I would ask your lawyer to draft something. Im guessing they have a standard agreement - I know the one that I used did.
I agree that it's ridiculous for your W to be introducing kids to random guys as "mommy's friend" at that age.
I will say that the agreements are very hard to ENFORCE, but at least you have it out there in writing and you can document the actions against it.
