> "I'd rather go out the follow day . . .", but I don't guess that's BD-approved.
Ha! JR, you might not know write from right but ... you ain't lacking a subtle sense of humor.
> Friend-zone
MWD coaches advocate friendship while the conventional wisdom in the forum is to not become a castrated friend. I think what I've wound up doing is to be a good friend in short bursts, but always end it quickly, don't linger. Let her know I can be a good friend, but on my own terms, I'm not going to sit around and mope for her attention.
> when certain conditions continue for a long time......a person can > become vulnerable to things they never were in the past
Really insightful, I think.
> find out that OM knew nothing about the WW's feelings
I'm about to go write about this in my thread.
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final
Try not to place a lot of stock into what she says about the 1-2 yrs for the sake of the kids. It sounds like a stall tactic, to me.....or to keep you from pressuring her.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Re the 1-2 years, it (two years, at least) supposedly dovetails with when my youngest will be done with the very good public school we're zoned for and will be moving to private school, so where we live won't matter. We'll sell the house, split the proceeds and live the two-home life in earnest.
I'm trying to stick with what cadet tells everyone who first posts here: she's given me the gift of time, and I need to use it. That said, I think I'd be in a much stronger, better place if she didn't live under the same roof as me. I continue to think that's not the best thing for my children, though, so here I am.
Me: 46 W: 44 Married: 17 Together 21 D13; S10 BD: 03.03.15 (Not attracted to you) Almost 2 years trying, alone, to save marriage Status now: Divorced (effective 06.13.17)
I find DB-ing to be schizophrenic. In front of my MLCW, I'm Mr Cool-As-Cucumber. Driving to and from work, I'm sobbing at red lights, pounding on my steering wheel.
Me: 50, MLC/WW 45 Young kids Nov 2015: BD1 Apr 2016: BD2 Jan 2017: W filed Feb 2017: D final
FOrGump -- I'm not as cool as you are in front of my W, but I too frequently lose it in the car. I guess I'm still looking for that elusive detachment.
Me: 46 W: 44 Married: 17 Together 21 D13; S10 BD: 03.03.15 (Not attracted to you) Almost 2 years trying, alone, to save marriage Status now: Divorced (effective 06.13.17)
Me54 WH48 S18 D16 M 22 T 24 EA-PA-EA 2011-2015 Separated 10/14 - 06/15 BD1 02/14 BD2 05/16 BD3 08/21/16 and began drinking again Working on me and liking me again
Me: 46 W: 44 Married: 17 Together 21 D13; S10 BD: 03.03.15 (Not attracted to you) Almost 2 years trying, alone, to save marriage Status now: Divorced (effective 06.13.17)
Still up and down JRuss. I'm making progress personally but detachment seem a to argue with hope and hope trumps.
My WH is opening up more, seeing a counselor and being eerily transparent without my telling him to.
Me54 WH48 S18 D16 M 22 T 24 EA-PA-EA 2011-2015 Separated 10/14 - 06/15 BD1 02/14 BD2 05/16 BD3 08/21/16 and began drinking again Working on me and liking me again
Sounds pretty good, Buxom, all things considered. Hang in there -- it's a marathon, not a sprint. So they say.
Me: 46 W: 44 Married: 17 Together 21 D13; S10 BD: 03.03.15 (Not attracted to you) Almost 2 years trying, alone, to save marriage Status now: Divorced (effective 06.13.17)
