Dear LiM, Thanks so very much for the advice ! I had a gut feeling that I was allowing myself to be too available and friendly . He is always coming by and calling and saying he can help me sort through the transition : sorting & packing our things tending to small projects that are needed, bringing lunch etc... (I don't cook) . Since I do love him and miss him while it is odd having him "visit " it is also very comforting . Although I have to agree with you it is probably smarter to stop .
W-57,H-55 Married-32 years 3 kids S-30,S-28,D-25 EA / PA ? June 2015 Walked out ,moved in with OW 10/2015 moves back 1/2016 still in love with OW and moves out July 2016
Dear coconut, Thanks so much for your post. He is already living with OW and I am here alone in the place we have been renting . Due to the problems with our daughters drug addiction and the sketchy people we have decided moving somewhere is the best choice . He is not living here but will be helping me move to the new home. We are trying to find a home that would be inexpensive as our current rent is and I would also have the tax write off. Since I am currently out of a job he knows I cannot financially move on in any fashion.
W-57,H-55 Married-32 years 3 kids S-30,S-28,D-25 EA / PA ? June 2015 Walked out ,moved in with OW 10/2015 moves back 1/2016 still in love with OW and moves out July 2016
i'll be 57 years old and alone . After 32 years of marriage and allowing myself to become far too isolated and dependent on my family dynamics I am now utterly and completely alone .
Luv1589 - that's what I thought too at 52. It turns out that I'm wrong and you're wrong. You have good friends through your church and your children. Don't make the same mistake that I did though and talk about your situation with them. Go to them to add them to the brightness you need in your life.
Even if you don't feel like being around people, go to the park, to the library to let the world experience Luv1589 and you to experience the world.
PS - Anyone who reads my own threads if you are reading this - please stop shaking your head - I'm doing the best I can to follow my own advice <smile>.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Dear Andrew, I have been trying my best , putting 1 foot in front of the other and going to church and groups at church as well as a one-week trip To visit our son in California. All the while on some days I don't feel like even getting out of my pajamas LOL I'm lucky my son,his wife and our two Grandbabies live Very close and they came over Sunday for dinner and a movie .
W-57,H-55 Married-32 years 3 kids S-30,S-28,D-25 EA / PA ? June 2015 Walked out ,moved in with OW 10/2015 moves back 1/2016 still in love with OW and moves out July 2016
Hi all ! Just wanted to post a question. Since I am living alone due to husband moved out with OW I have been thinking about going through things and purging and packing since we are looking to move me out of where we have been living.
I have a big problem with moving ( deep psychological scars ) The last time we moved my husband did most of the work . One of the issues our marriage has suffered from is that I have too much clutter .
Because of these things purging / packing could be viewed as a healthy thing for me to accomplish on my own. However it could also be Viewed by him as an attempt for me to drive him back into the marriage. Any thoughts or feedback or experience would be greatly appreciated ! !
W-57,H-55 Married-32 years 3 kids S-30,S-28,D-25 EA / PA ? June 2015 Walked out ,moved in with OW 10/2015 moves back 1/2016 still in love with OW and moves out July 2016
Because of these things purging / packing could be viewed as a healthy thing for me to accomplish on my own. However it could also be Viewed by him as an attempt for me to drive him back into the marriage.
I wouldnt worry about the stuff in bold. H is going to "view" anything you do through his own lens to fit his own story.
I'm so sorry for the situation you are in and that your daughter is struggling so much.
It is going to sound like there is an echo around here. He is certainly temperature checking to be sure you are still an option as plan B. I'm guessing it makes him feel better that he is helping you so he feels less guilt due to him leaving your marriage.
Knowing what to do and what not to do at this point is crucial. Feel free to give me a call at 303-444-7004 to schedule another session with your DB Coach.
Cristy Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004
A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.
Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004 for more information or to get started right away.
Hi all ! Just wanted to post a question. Since I am living alone due to husband moved out with OW I have been thinking about going through things and purging and packing since we are looking to move me out of where we have been living.
I have a big problem with moving ( deep psychological scars ) The last time we moved my husband did most of the work . One of the issues our marriage has suffered from is that I have too much clutter .
Because of these things purging / packing could be viewed as a healthy thing for me to accomplish on my own. However it could also be Viewed by him as an attempt for me to drive him back into the marriage. Any thoughts or feedback or experience would be greatly appreciated ! !
Threads merged - please stick to one thread until 100 posts.
As far as your changes - my suggestion is to make them for YOU, because you want to do them, not to try to win your husband back.
So if you are doing the de-clutter for YOU - it does not matter what he thinks.
Dear darknes, Deep down I would be happier with less clutter but it has always been very difficult for me as I am always struggling with " pack rat" type feelings. I am in no way like an episode of "hoarders " but I always have fought a tendency to clutter . My husband on the other hand would gladly live with four white walls and a bed. LOL this was always a cause of friction in the marriage.
W-57,H-55 Married-32 years 3 kids S-30,S-28,D-25 EA / PA ? June 2015 Walked out ,moved in with OW 10/2015 moves back 1/2016 still in love with OW and moves out July 2016
Dear Cristy, Thanks for your support,I think you are correct. I will need to read DR again but it is sometimes hard to apply all of it to this unique situation .
W-57,H-55 Married-32 years 3 kids S-30,S-28,D-25 EA / PA ? June 2015 Walked out ,moved in with OW 10/2015 moves back 1/2016 still in love with OW and moves out July 2016
