Have i been making mistakes too long part 8

[Vanilla]

Pleased for you TK.....I know these are rough, but I'll offer some thoughts...

1. Continue my sobriety, attending AA once a week.

2. Stop dwelling on what is happening regarding the STBX. (Make this into a positive - focus on my own life and how I move forward positively from here.)

3. Plan activities for me and my children. also, I am going to set up times to spend with each of them alone. - You could make this more specific. I'm going to spend alone time with each of them once a week. Once a month, I'm going to take them somewhere special.

4. Stop blaming myself for everything. (Again, I always think positives are better for goals. I'm going to accept that I'm doing my best to move forward in challenging circumstances.) Each day I'm going to remember to practice gratitude and also praise myself for 3 things I have done well.

5. GAL: Start teaching again. - Distribute my teaching cards and take on 2 new pupils during June. Continue playing golf....once a week??

Just my thoughts anyway - and the teaching sounds like good GAL to me - well done TK xx

Terrific changes Sotto

V

[SH_]

Just checking in on my friend tk.

How is your week starting off for you?

[tkdmme]

Hello,

Its going well. Pretty uneventful but no news is good news right? I haven't spoke with STBX in a few days. not even through texts. I wonder how she is and what she's is up to but I don't dwell on it.

I speak with the kids at least twice a day. Now that they are on summer break, I never know when they will be waking up. During school I call every morning at 7am like clockwork and every evening at 830 just before they go to bed.

I miss my family dearly but at this point I just want to concentrate on the future and what may be ahead for me. I was thinking last night about my life and all of the events that have lead up to this point. It seems that every time something came up that left me feeling uncomfortable and scared, it turned out to be a blessing. Im hoping that this experience will be the similar.

I am still sober and it hasn't been too hard. Physically I feel great and waking up with a clear head is a much needed improvement. I have stopped all other relationships with other women. This has been hard. I went a little crazy for a while with the women. I went out with several during my crazy period and to be honest didn't truly care for any of them except for one. I miss talking to her.

Anyway, I am good and as always, thanks for the support.

[roist]

Good going TK. Keep it up

[Vanilla]

This is a peaceful time, a reflective time.

Please take full advantage of it to restore your batteries.

V

[SH_]

I am smiling as I read your update. You are making progress by taking baby steps. The road is long, but you are living in the moment and making wise choices.

Focus on the benefits, brace for pain, and always keep in front the " Why" behind your actions.

Keep us posted. Share your thoughts, challenges and successes as you continue forward on your journey.

May your day be a peaceful one with moments of joy.

[SH_]

Just checking I on tk.

How was AA this week?
How are the kids doing?
How are you doing my friend?

[mutatio]

Hi tkdmme, just wanted to say hello and offer my support. I have not drank since 2008. You'll find no answers at the bottom of a bottle. Hang in there

[SH_]

tk

I hope you are doing well my friend.
I hope progress is still in order.

I hope no news from you is good news.

My prayers are with you.

[tkdmme]

Hello all,

Its been awhile since my last post. I have been off work and have been spending a lot of time with the kids.

I am still on track but I did kind of fall of the wagon this past Friday. I played golf with some friends from work and drank some beers. Nothing crazy happened but I did break my abstinence.

Also, STBX's sister was in town last week and I ran into her while picking up the kids. we had a conversation that was an eye opener to say the least. STBX and her sister have always been extremely close but she says that STBX has shut down on her as well. her sister told me that she will not speak to her about the break up at all. She says that she sees the positive changes I have been making. She told me that I wasn't the cause of the break up and that the STBX is going through something that no one can put their finger on. Apparently STBX's family is still trying to talk to her about reconciling but they are getting nowhere.

I know that this is none of my concern and that should keep on the path im on. However, the conversation brought back my perceived need to get my W back. I want so badly for my family to be back together. I just don't understand her complete disregard for the advise of her family and others. I am a great person and a great father. I made some mistakes throughout my M but im not perfect. I know that I am well on my way to becoming the man she wants and deserves.

She was such a beautiful person before this. she was outgoing and confident. She was very present with the kids and family. Now she is just a shell. She looks bad and has lost more weight. I think its some sort of menopause of depression but I don't know how to talk to her about. I just feel if she would go to a doctor, maybe she would start to feel better. I love a care for her so much and want her to be happy but there is nothing I can do. I feel so helpless.