1. I'm delighted to report the return of the demon daughter. After months of hibernation I thought I'd licked that beast.
2. Ran into Mr. Fantastic and the GF yesterday, I was walking into a lunch place as they were walking out. I see them out together at least once a week. But this time I waited till they were gone, went back to the office, and cried. He's SO GROSS. But I would have stayed married to him and loved him as I promised. He's so empty and irresponsible. So why should I even care? I don't. I guess I was crying for the chaos he's created in my life.
3. New Guy is taking me on a tour of his home state in June. I asked if he was nervous and he said, a little. He said he expected to feel some sadness, taking me to all the places he used to go with his ex.
4. Work is not awesome. My co-workers are great but I'm not doing as well as I'd like.
All these things have come together tonight to make me feel unloveable.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
New Guy and I went to a party and had a completely great time. Not once did I feel (even when he was on his own while I chatted with the ladies) that he was impatient or needed me to look after him. If anything, he was way more comfortable than I was.
Saturday he spent on his own, and I'm starting to realize that it's good for him to have his own space. I certainly need some of mine. I have the kids three weekends in a row this month and not having to be ON for another grown up was good.
Sunday we spent with the kids, doing an activity that the kids & I had never done before. He arranged it all. He showed everybody how to do it. S8 preferred to do the activity with NG the whole day. S10 said, when I put him to bed, that he likes NG, he's a good planner. (This is very high praise, given that Mr. Fantastic plans NOTHING.)
He said he could see us married down the road.
I agreed with him at the moment. This morning I was thinking about it and the idea scared me. I mean, I want to be married again someday. I even see New Guy as being a great match for me, and if things continue as they have been, that's the inevitable conclusion to our relationship. But I'm CERTAINLY in no rush and while I love that he says that, I also am totally intimidated at the idea that each moment I spend with him is an expression of commitment. This was the case before but it was easy to ignore before those words came out.
So....
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
Sounds like things are really going your way. Good for you, MB! Good for you!
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
MB, this is lovely. It's ok to be nervous, but what an awesome thing to be nervous about. That someone loves you and wants to make a commitment to you? How nice.
