Sandi, I forgot to add regarding my drawer full of blackmail evidence, there is nothing, well no evidence anyways... There's only two things that she would be able to find, pictures of me and my friends partying at raves when I was around twenty... And a DUI when I was 24... But I have 0 secrets from my past, I am not very mysterious..
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
Okay, just needed clarification on what had been said. When she should bring up the subject again, implying she is doing all that you've asked of her, I think you need to tell her that the only way to end an emotional affair is by no contact of any type.
If she doesn't bring up the topic of doing everything you've asked, but she starts a talk about the MR......you could tell her then.
See, she doesn't like the fact you gave her the cold shoulder, and she demanded that you treat her with respect. Maybe she knew she didn't really deserve respect, so she used the son as leverage. And she will not hesitate to make demands and have her fits, all the time she continues disrespecting you. She has already told you that if you asked her to leave the firefighters, she will resent you. Well, news flash: she already resents you. If she was the woman who use to be your W.......she would see the craziness of putting a job, class, or volunteering over her own H and son.
That's just one reason the LBH has to make a stand for what is morally right for him, his M, and his children and not compromise with infidelity.
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I read somewhere to treat WW like you would a sister, nice but no explanations needed, is that a fair goal?
If it will help you stay balanced and not swing hot and cold. You went too silent and cold. She pitched a whooper of a fit. Today you are back to talking.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Sandi, that puppies link doesn't work, do you think it c&p wrong or is it gone?
She did the dishes last night, I let them build up cause I've been busy, first time she's done dishes for months.
I shouldn't of been so nice and cordial today, I totally didn't think about her last text to me, saying be nice or get out.. Oh well, hopefully it doesn't go to her head.
Sandy, I haven't confronted her about the calls, because if she doesn't know I can chk, it may help me verify when it's actually over (or maybe not, so many communication apps that can't be tracked). The last two calls where incoming, think it's him perusing her, or am I reading to much into it.
Right now she's DBing me, totally detached, no questions, conversations, nothing.. just hello and goodbye.... Implies to me still attached to OM.
She has her first solo counseling session tomorrow, the first thing the counselor said to me when I told of working with OM was, how can she end if still in contact.. Hopefully it'll come up tomorrow and she'll think on it before I mention it.
So today she was changing in MBR, I walked in on her and I turned around and walked out quickly, she was acting confused why I did that, wasn't sure what I should do.. Don't want her using her sexual powers against me...
She's in class tonight so I won't see her till tomorrow, she will be home at 5, I plan to work out with my son, maybe play pool, then head out around 7 or 8.. I like the comedy club idea, gonna see if any shows tomorrow, if not, maybe go to a pool hall, I wanna stay away from bars.
For now I'm gonna get some DR reading in.. I'll chk back in tonight..
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
So today she was changing in MBR, I walked in on her and I turned around and walked out quickly, she was acting confused why I did that, wasn't sure what I should do.. Don't want her using her sexual powers against me...
I think you did the right thing in that situation. Shows her that her sexual powers are lessening and that tool is losing its effectiveness.
Wow, that's a lot of posts... Should I be going trough all of sitch, or just reading his comments.
Ok, I am gonna get yelled at for trying to read into what's going on and snooping, but here I go (for full disclosure) Last night WW text me after class at 11 when it's over and let me know she was going to stop and get food, I replied that was nice of you to tell me, Thk you.
She got home, said hi and I replied. Then she said she felt like she was going to pass out in class because she hasn't been eating. I said you gotta be sure to eat well.
This morning I woke up and she was getting ready in MBR (she's still sleeping in guest room), and I said morning, but she didn't respond, so I just laid there for 2 minutes until she left the room. Then I checked phone records, OM called her twice yesterday, one call for one minut and the other call for 9 minutes... (Here's me trying to read into it). All the previous calls where about 30 minutes, then there was a twenty minute call, and then the two I just mentioned. The last 4 or 5 calls have been inbound calls, she hasn't made an outbound call in 3 days. It looks to me like he's pursuing and she's cutting him short, and I wonder if it's possible for OM to push WW away? I know I'm gonna get hit, but this is what I'm thinking, so I'll admit it..
With that said I feel like I'm making strides in detaching, I've only cried when thinking about S16, and even that has been minimal... My biggest cry in two days was when I went to the doctor and they asked if I was single, married or divorced.. That really hit me, that I might one day have to answer divorced, and then I wondered why divorced had to be an option, couldn't it just be single or married, why attach the "divorced" stigma?
Ok, I gotta go get blood work done for a check up, be back later.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
I was thinking today, that if this doesn't work out, I'm not going to move out until the house is sold, and in this area houses take around 3-5 months to sell... Would it be real bad to approach WW and discuss calling a realtor to put the house on the market? If things work out, we don't have to sign on the dotted line, but if they don't, then at least we would be moving things along?
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
It's got it pros, as per CRW. Cons are that you're the one initiating and trying to get a reaction perhaps. Stay in your house, don't forget your memories and when the time is right, then you sell. The kids need stability, the kids need their home. (almost cried for the first time today, wait, already did a few times this morning - days take forever!)
Just cos things are going right, doesn't mean that they were always wrong.
