Well, I feel like it might be time for me to quit this fight. I got this text from her this morning:
'Where are you at with moving forward with the divorce? It would be great to spend money on the kids and not a lawyer....can we resolve this quickly? '
Any advice on how to handle this? Or is it time to throw in the towel?
Me: 38 y/o W: 38 y/o Together: 10 yrs Married: 7 yrs S1, D3, S15(hers previous, I adopted May'15) WBD: Sep '15 W's EA confirmed Oct'15 W Filed Dec '15 Personal awakening Mar'16
Don't throw in the towel. Remember this is about making yourself into the best version of yourself you can be, if that in turn brings your wife back, great but if it doesn't you still come out the other end all the better. You can't control what she does you can only control what you do. This is the most important thing I learned on this forum
Only you will know what to say to her. You will want to take into consideration several things as you decide. First and foremost, what is best for you, and your children? Avoid worrying about how your decision will influence your W. At this point if the D is what she wants you can not stop it, but you can ensure that you and the children are not left hanging out to dry. D proceedings are not fatal to opportunities for reconciliation, so you must set that aside. You need to focus on you, your kids and what is best for them. Think long term and avoid emotional decisions as those tend to only make short term sense.
Do what you believe is best.
I wish I could give you more, but as I slog through a similar situation I am seeing long term decisions matter more now and logic guides that. My emotions pull to do things to please WAA, but that will not benefit me,her,nor my children.
Get good legal advice, follow your beliefs and principles and avoid emotional decisions, IMHO.
Separate the d process from your desire or lack the roc for reconciliation. That will have to happen separately and only if/when she decides that is what she wants.
I am pulling for you and hope to lend any moral support I can as you work your way through this.
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
My WW continues to push me to finalize D as quickly as possible. Problem is when you have kids involved, this causes a huge issue. At least for me since my WW is living 4 hours away. Do what is best for you and your children. Protect yourself. Let things run their course with respect to the D.
H-46 XW-38 T-7 M-6 S-9,8,8,6,4 S 11/30/15, I filed 12/8/15 EA 2/1/16 D dismissed 3/24/16 PA 3/18/16 confirmed 4/22/16 XW files for D 4/1/16 - D final 11/17/16 Finally moving forward...
You need to talk to a lawyer if you have not yet. Get as much done by W lawyer after you both talk about it then you take it to yours and go from there. At that point it should be close to a proper document
Me late 30's W mid 30's T 15, M 10 S4, S7 ILYBNILWY June 2015 In house S July 2015 W rings off Oct 2015 My ring off Feb 2015 Separate houses June 2016
What is the rush? No need to respond to her text right now, right? Of course she wants you to agree to settle. Settling would make things much easier for her.
What is best for YOU and the children? Get professional feedback before you commit to anything at this point.
Knowing what to do and what not to do at this point is crucial. Feel free to give me a call at 303-444-7004 to discuss how we can best help you determine what to do next.
Cristy Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004
A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.
Email virginia@divorcebusting.com or 303-444-7004 for more information or to get started right away.
