My wife of about 6 years is now staying at the other man's house overnight with my son. She drives this guy to work and she's almost there every day.
I'm trying to do things to make her feel loss but she's just acting angry the very little in see her. I told her I won't be giving you any gas money or making your car payments anymore.I bought a few groceries the other day and she took them over to this guy's house. My son is over there with them too. She told me just yesterday that I'm only allowed to see my son every other weekend.
Lost and pretty confused right now. I also told her that I won't be paying for her phone anymore. She says I still have to take care of her because we're married. She's really mad that I refused to give her gas money and I said if my son needs to be picked up or dropped off from school that I'll do it.
How old is your son? Why is she staying at another man's home with your son?
I know you don't want to enable her actions by paying for her choices. Of course she is angry that you are not giving her gas money or making her car payments anymore! Telling her you aren't going to pay for her phone anymore isn't going to make her happy either.
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Sorry you are here but there is good help for you. Have you gotten the book yet? If not, get it and read it. Keep it to yourself. It is not for sharing with her. You need to go straight to the LRT. You need to detach, 180 and GAL. You need to start doing all these things pronto. You also need to set boundaries and come down hard on her. I don't mean to treat her cruelly or with anger but you should not tolerate this behavior in any shape, form or fashion. Cut her off financially immediately. Go to a lawyer and get some help with your kid. She can't keep you away from your child. Do not do ANYTHING for her. You need to find it in yourself to dump her and begin moving on with your life. This is counterintuitive but this is exactly what needs to be done if you want a shot at saving your M.
Me: 48 y/o W: 47 y/o Together: > 20 yrs BD: Dec '15, then S 2nd BD: Mar '16, then I filed for D April '16: started piecing
Man, that's a rough story. Listen to Lim and the advice you have received. KEEP POSTING, it is therapeutic and good to get as much advise as possible. SEE A LAWYER ASAP!! You can probably get a consultation for free or fairly cheap. You need to know what to do to protect yourself and your child.
Your WW will be a selfish little brat when you don't do exactly what she wants you to do. That is OK. She wants you to give her gas money so she can drive the OM to work, give me a f@#$ing break. Listen to me, She doesn't respect you now. She will need to respect you before you have a chance at a R in the future. Set boundaries. Not to punish her, but to protect you and your child. READ SANDI2's post on a wayward wife. Read any and everything she posts.
In my state you can get a temporary restraining order to keep the OM from being around your child. Cost some cash for the L, but it might be worth it.
You may be on moderation now, post in small frequent replies and stay on this thread until you reach 100 posts (for your thread, you can also post on other peoples threads to give support). Especially on this Newcomers forum, where the posting activity is very active, and your posts can quickly fall to the bottom of the page or even several pages down. Keep journaling and asking questions - people will come! Most important - POST!
Get out and Get a Life (GAL). DETACH.
Believe none of what he or she says and half of what he/she does.
Have NO EXPECTATIONS.
Take care of yourself, breathe, eat, sleep, exercise.
Take the parts of this advice that you need and don't worry if I have repeated something that you have already done.
Here are a few links to threads that will help you immensely:
