The thing that bothers me most about my wife wanting the divorce is her treatment of me. She ignores me, will not speak to me unless she has something to say, will not look at me unless she is talking. After 30 years and 3 children I am treated like a bum on the street corner.
I understand she wants a divorce, I accept it but must I be treated like a piece of human debris. The intelligent sophisticated woman I married is acting in a rude immature manner. It could be worse I suppose.
As I live in the twilight of my marriage I see more clearly the state of my strengths and weaknesses. I will strive to get my emotional house in order. Working on my psychological and physical issues will reap a better emotional state of well being.
That's where I am and what I'm doing. I am not bitter. Actually, I have hope for a happy future, a different one then I wanted but a happy one. Be well
What makes you think that the divorce is about YOU? Or anything that YOU did?
My guess is this is more about her and you are a casualty of war. My own opinion is that they live to regret it but only after you are long gone.
My .02
I understand the feeling exactly. It bothered me tremendously and added to my confusion and struggles in the early months.
It was my realization, no, it was when I finally accepted that it was not about me, but it was about her, that I was able to make progress. cadet is correct in my opinion. I see this now in my WAW actions and behavior with others. It is not all about me and understanding this is valuable for my healing and ability to progress forward.
Hopefully you can step back and evaluate this and then her treatment towards you may sting a little less.
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
Thank you Cadet, Thank You SH. Those are powerful insights. I will dwell on this and respond. I think your 100% correct. I just need to reflect. Thank you
R 25 years M 14 years S11 & S13 Working on it alone since Oct 2014 M in trouble a lot earlier (~2 years) Feb 2016. 1st R chat in a yr. Next R chat Aug'17 Still together
We never get a chance to catch up anymore. Life and time are running rings around us. I know you have some big summer plans once the holidays come. I hope they come to fruition. Manuel labor is such a blessing occupying both mind and body. And the completion of a task. It is accomplishment on every level.
Take care my friend and know that I think of you often.
Thank you roist, your message rings true. As time goes by my interest in my wife's thoughts and opinions dissipates. They still matter to me but hold far less value.
My dear Jelly, I've missed you so. I hope to lose myself in my work this summer. My son and my daughter said they would help me complete the task. Between the two of them I may be able to work full days. I am excited to complete the last part of this project. After this, all my new work will be for me. So this job is a metaphor for the end of the work for my marriage. I will finish well and move on to greener pastures. Peace
I grow tired of my wife's behavior. Not in the sense that I can't live in the same house. It's that I have been relegated from husband to friend to stranger to persona non grata.
That's the current state of of my marriage or the lack there of. Be well and keep looking for peace, it's out there on the distant horizon.
I grow tired of my wife's behavior. Not in the sense that I can't live in the same house. It's that I have been relegated from husband to friend to stranger to persona non grata.
That's the current state of of my marriage or the lack there of. Be well and keep looking for peace, it's out there on the distant horizon.
Now that you have grown tired of her behavior, what will you path will you follow? What will you choose to do about being relegated to a stranger in your own home? What goals do you have based on the current situations. Is the current state of your marriage controlling you, or do you have a plan to be in control of your desired journey.
Life is to short to simply settle.
Many will spend a lifetime seeking peace out there. Peace is a state of mind that can come from within. Look within yourself and you will find answers, joy and peace.
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
Many will spend a lifetime seeking peace out there. Peace is a state of mind that can come from within. Look within yourself and you will find answers, joy and peace.
Ohmmmmm....
SH, are you a Zen master in disguise? Or Yoda in disguise?
You can call me Dory/ Grl.
As a wise fish once sang,"Just keep swimming!"
It's no use to go back to yesterday because I was a different person then.
Or Yoda in disguise?