hi Broke - i love your boundaries thread and the development of them - Masterful BD-ing there!
I have previously thought i had detached, and had put boundaries in place - only to discover when it came to actually seeing my Xh - who has been rather distant - that in fact i had not.
I think i have been a people pleaser most of my life - and have learnt to put boundaries in place in may everyday life through Db-ing, but it hasnt been until recent contact with XH that i have acknowledged that what i thought were boundaries with him was actually just the total lack of contact we had. That has helped me detach which is handy, because now i have the strength to put boundaries in place - just when i need them now that he is showing some interest in our boys and is in random contact.
I really like the description of Thornton and Vanilla to clarify friendly neighbour - versus being a friend. I have struggled with how Xh appears (other than the shark eyes which are still there) so 'normal' when we have moments together, and if anyone who did not know the situation saw us together would think we were a happy family of 4 - weird.
Go for Broke - Broke - you have seem to me to already be a person anyone would be a fool to leave.
