Recap: Husband left me for my ex best friend pretty much sums it up. They are dating now while we are separated. They used to be friends in highschool and apparently he has always had a thing for her.
I think they had a ea or pa before the separation. 100% sure an EA. His partner told his wife(my best friend) that he admitted he had feelings for her while married since he always has. He thinks he loves her.
Trying to take the high road. No contact besides kids.
I am still in love with him knowing this but also hate him and want him to suffer..so I don't know how I feel. I don't know if I love the idea of him or what anymore.
Pretty much that is it. Do I wait it out..do I walk away..I half want to stay half want to say F this and leave. Especially knowing who and what he is now doing to me.
Re-reading all the advice everyone gave me over and over trying to really remember it. I hope if we interact today that it will go better then yesterday.
You guys are right. My goal is no interaction. He usually 99% of the time calls or texts daily so I'm just assuming I will hear from him.
I am rotating between crying hysterically, being angry,and feeling numb. Then repeat. I have visited family and friends and mostly end up crying on the couch and hiding from my kids.
Did not make it to church, I was so emotional outside my mom said maybe we should go another day.
We took a nice nap today though.
Having bad thoughts of maybe dating just since he is..but i know that its my emotions talking.
Red - no way I could have gone out in public the first week after finding out about the affair. And, you have it harder because you have two young children. Mine were at school all day while I fell apart. Take it hour by hour. And, you are right, dating is not a good idea right now. It would be settling and you are too good to settle for something out of neediness or revenge. Glad you got a nap! Keep taking care of you!
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
Yeah I'm trying to take it hour by hour at this point.
I took a shower, was forced to eat by my mother, got dressed, napped, watched a movie.. I'm trying to do it all for me.
He goes into work at 6 so I know if I do not hear from him by then..then I won't for the day.
My brain keeps telling me now that I know about the A he is going to be distant and not want me and cold..and it makes me sad. I know before the flirting and being cute was fake but it still made the days go by alittle easier thinking he might miss me.
So right now, you're in a state of shock. It's like if someone unexpectedly was murdered. You experience a devastating mix of anger and grief, confusion and disbelief. This is not the time to make decisions about anything, it's even too early to think about what to wear to the funeral. So focus on the small, immediate things - getting through the day, taking a shower, feeding yourself and the kids, getting help, and staying out of contact with WAH until you have a grip on your emotions (which is not expected today or tomorrow).
Dating, divorcing, waiting, reconciling or not - none of those are decisions you can make at this point, and they're not going to be 100% your decisions.
Dating would be using another person to make yourself feel a little better and make your WAH feel jealous, without any regard to the feelings of the person you would use for that purpose.
You called this thread the high road. It's steep and sometimes the oxygen can get low, but it's ultimately the most rewarding one.
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
