I am so happy I have you all. My mom keeps asking who I'm talking to. I told her my support system.
Without you guys I think I would have ruined my M a long time ago. I would have begged, cried, pleaded, begged more,and even now knowing he has the OW still sleep with him just to prove he wants me too.
I know myself. It was my first thought is that I'm sure anytime he is here he would still want me and I bet I could sleep with him just to get proof to show her.
Dont worry I'm not jumping on that crazy train.
But it did cross my mind a few times. I know I'm better then that though.
I agree with Trumpet. Time for him to be a father. He wanted this, so now he gets it. No more multiple texts. If it is urgent respond. Otherwise, politely tell him that you are confident that he can take of your children without you micromanaging the process. And, you need to set a boundary about him calling you during unreasonable hours. Don't tell him you are doing that - just stop responding to texts in the middle of the night unless it is an emergency.
Now, I want you to leave the bathroom, go out to your mom and tell her that you just need her to hug you and hold you. To let you cry in her arms and tell you everything will be okay. Tell her what you need - she doesn't know. I promise she is trying, but she doesn't know what to do or say so she is just floundering. Tell her so you both get what you need. She wants to be there for you - I promise.
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
Oh yes now that I'm going NC I am not responding to any of that stuff. Especially after 7:30-8 pm. That is when my babies go to sleep!!
I will be my own invisible self.
I did tell my mom to stop lecturing me and just let me be a big baby and cry while my babies are sleeping.
So she is patting my head while I lay here telling her the advice you guys give me. She is like wow..those are amazing people.
You do not know them?! I said no but they are closer to me then half my own friends right now. The best type of friend. Always there for me to help me and never angry when I'm having a bad day.
You are doing great! You are smart and strong - You are asking for help and taking the advice. I handled myself so poorly. You should be proud of yourself. So glad your mom is with you. Xoxo
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
He asks me all the time if I have a boyfriend or If I have someone. I always tell him no of course not!
I don't know if he would care if I did.
Because then he would be off the hook - you would be just as guilty as him. That's all. He wants you to be on even ground.
Well, he also wants to keep you for himself as plan B.
That's why you got to disregard what his thoughts and intentions are, because he's not rational. Just act with dignity and integrity and honor regardless what he comes up with.
I would answer welfare questions about the kids. Medications, etc. Otherwise, don't answer. If he complains, I'd say, 'You're a smart guy, you know CPR, you'll figure it out.'
And tell your mother you need her to support you right now, not focus on her own feelings and opinions.
M 16 yrs, WH62, P54 3 adult blended kids EA 11/13, BD1 6/14 PA fall 14, BD2 2/15 Piecing 2015, BD3 12/15 Separated 4/16 WH moved OW in 5/16 Divorced 6/15/17
There's no shortcuts. Try playing some soft music and focus on the music while you try to fall asleep. That should help keep your mind off of the images of H and OW.
Red, the images are torture; I still have them, and Saturday nights are the worst. Try Benadryl, 2 of them. And when you wake up in the middle of the night, try something like the serenity prayer over and over and over. If you don't get back to sleep then turn the light on and don't fight it. Do whatever you can to distract yourself from the images of them together. Come on here and read until you get sleepy. With time it will get better.
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
