AAAAHHHH I just accidentally deleted my post before I could post it!
Hi cil, I am doing all right. All week I think about coming on the boards, but as a stay-at-home mom turned full-time employee, my weekends are reserved for me, my daughter, and laundry. Still waking up almost every night and really feeling the strain of fatigue during the week. Silver lining: my office is being straightened up in the process of making my financial affidavit.
mut, thanks for the peace-sending. Right back at ya!
job, I read and reread your post all the time. It is something I can strive towards. I continue to make baby steps.
I decided to go off social media (not these forums) because it is hindering my progress. I had sent a nasty private FB message to the OW, who managed to screenshot it, send to my STBX, who then reprimanded me because he was "disappointed." I told him the truth, which was that it was never meant to be seen, that I deleted it soon after I sent it, that I posted an apology which she didn't get because she had blocked me by that point. Then I got defensive: I'm disappointed by his destruction of a life, a marriage, a family. I didn't write that but I did cancel my FB account. He had fired me publicly as his wife on his page. His photos did not have me in them for the past 3 years. I didn't see it. I was blind. Well, not really, I was able to see and hear him lie all those years. He had gotten a major role as a kid in a movie that made a superstar out of the actor who replaced him (must have had a better agent) because he is obviously Best Actor in leading role in Our Marriage.
nel, Thanks for stopping by. I am going to read your sitch and catch up with you.
On the very positive side of GAL. I was able to save a little girl's life last week when she had a severe allergic reaction. I have the grateful chocolate bunny sitting beside me now.
Buttercup
Me 50 H 51 M 17 T 20 D16 H EA Feb 2014 BD Sept 2015 H moved out Nov 2015 W Filed D papers Mar 2016
Kudos for saving that little girl. You were in the right place at the right time.
Please take care of yourself.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.