Me 40 WW 41 D 4 S 12 S 14 BD 6.16.2015 W stopped wearing ring 9.4.15 W Filed Divorce 9.14.15 My ring off 11.15.15 D finalized 12.18.15 WXW (wayward X wife) moved out 1.28.16 got her own place
I had Daddy Daughter time Monday and Tuesday night. WXW called to speak with her more than usual. There have been several times she would go 2-3 days with out calling to talk to D4. WXW called Monday night, Tuesday morning and again Tuesday night. I didn't speak with her. Just put the phone on speaker and gave it to D4.
GALing- I've almost finished remodeling the bathroom. Installed new vanity, sink, granite top, mirror, 2 towel racks (used an old door knob for one of them), light fixture, wainscoting and fresh paint. Just need to secure the granite blacksplash, alter the drawers on the vanity to fit around the plumbing and a new toilet seat.
Tonight I'll hit the gym, see my IC and then I'll be organizing main floor of the house. There is stuff everywhere and the chaos is getting to me. If I can get this done quickly enough I'm going to install wainscoting on my kitchen island and paint it a light green. Not sure how the green will look yet but I already have the paint.
Time to tear each room apart and redo it the way I like it. This is very therapeutic for me. Tearing out the old and rebuilding it with my own hands. I found myself becoming a little impatient with how long the bathroom took me. I need to learn to enjoy the process and not to just look to the end product.
Me 40 WW 41 D 4 S 12 S 14 BD 6.16.2015 W stopped wearing ring 9.4.15 W Filed Divorce 9.14.15 My ring off 11.15.15 D finalized 12.18.15 WXW (wayward X wife) moved out 1.28.16 got her own place
Keep up doing things for you. I have altered my schedule a bit and started doing things at different times and making the nights not be a time of mind racing. Helped wonders.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
Yeah, I'm staying busy. No TV's in the house right now so I'm able to get a lot of work done.
I did find out she actually saw me on Sunday. What a weird coincidence. I was at a Target about 20 minutes from my house, not the one I would usually go to. WXW, the XMIL and kids were at a breakfast restaurant in the same parking lot at the same time as I was. And her new place is at least 20 minutes south of there. Weird, weird, weird...... I mean I wasn't in the city I live in. I wasn't in the city she lives in. I wasn't even in a city between our 2 cities. Just weird. I believe God wanted her to see me with a female friend. It definitely made an impact on her.
Me 40 WW 41 D 4 S 12 S 14 BD 6.16.2015 W stopped wearing ring 9.4.15 W Filed Divorce 9.14.15 My ring off 11.15.15 D finalized 12.18.15 WXW (wayward X wife) moved out 1.28.16 got her own place
Yeah, I'm staying busy. No TV's in the house right now so I'm able to get a lot of work done.
I did find out she actually saw me on Sunday. What a weird coincidence. I was at a Target about 20 minutes from my house, not the one I would usually go to. WXW, the XMIL and kids were at a breakfast restaurant in the same parking lot at the same time as I was. And her new place is at least 20 minutes south of there. Weird, weird, weird...... I mean I wasn't in the city I live in. I wasn't in the city she lives in. I wasn't even in a city between our 2 cities. Just weird. I believe God wanted her to see me with a female friend. It definitely made an impact on her.
That is weird and very interesting. I guess the important question is after she's done sowing her oats and realizing how badly she screwed up, and approaches you about another chance (which will happen), would you want her back?
I think she may be done "sowing her oats" and be starting to realize she screwed up but I'm not sure she's hit bottom enough to do whatever it takes to get us back. She has already told me twice that she is ready to start counseling and has hinted that she would like us to go to the movies. The first time was 6 days after our D was finalized. But it's all around this fantasy that she can do what ever she likes carrying on multiple A's, D me, we can have our separate homes, then we'll start dating and get married again.
This may happen if she gets the help she needs and actually takes the steps necessary to reconcile a relationship. I can't just get back together with her without her recognizing what she has done was wrong, without her getting help for her anger and insecurity issues. I won't be bullied again. I won't be passive again. I won't let her control me again. I won't let her squash who I am again.
Me 40 WW 41 D 4 S 12 S 14 BD 6.16.2015 W stopped wearing ring 9.4.15 W Filed Divorce 9.14.15 My ring off 11.15.15 D finalized 12.18.15 WXW (wayward X wife) moved out 1.28.16 got her own place
i think you will have to lead her there. If she is saying she wants to do the counseling then maybe you can get the results from that. She might not be able to see it. Not yet at least. Lead her down the road.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
WXW sent an email with an article from the Elephant Journal titled "I want to know you" and she wrote "I wish I had that article when we met, and I wish we had spent 6 months going through it answering every question. I only disagree w the "I'm afraid to die"
I'm not sure what to do with it. Do I respond? Do I ignore it?
Me 40 WW 41 D 4 S 12 S 14 BD 6.16.2015 W stopped wearing ring 9.4.15 W Filed Divorce 9.14.15 My ring off 11.15.15 D finalized 12.18.15 WXW (wayward X wife) moved out 1.28.16 got her own place
Sorry. I have one more thing to say. I feel your situation while not ideal has a chance to reconcile.
I know you feel she hasn't done the right things yet but it really think you are going to have to into the process to see if she does Coke around to what you expect.
I think you are going to have to stick with your beliefs but may need to to see what happens. If it doesn't make you happy ok at least you tried.
I think you owe it to yourself, wife and kids.
My opinion.
M 37 W 34
T 12 M 8 D 7 S 4
Need break 4/12/15 W no ring 7/7/15
Separate room 4/12/15 Separate living suggested 8/15 W moved out 11/1/15
