My w wanting a divorce seems to involve a long term plan. She wants to be friends but wants me to eventually live close by because apparantly, my D8 might need to go back home if she needs her mom when visiting me!
The friendship is controlled by her and if I cross her, the friendship is affected. I don't have any friends like this...they just wouldn't be...friends!
I agree that there is a degree if manipulation. She doesn't want to be married, other men can't meet her expectations so keeping me in the friendzone allows her to call on me when she needs support. I would always help with the kids but don't want to be taken for a fool.
She will get plenty of space as I will need mine to GAL and 180. I wonder if and how a w attitude changes after space....
I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?
I wonder if and how a w attitude changes after space....
The more contacting and pursuing, the less her attitude will change. It takes much more than just space. If you want to read the threads about the wayward wife, I talked quite a bit on this very subject.
I have quit speaking about the marriage as like everyone has suggested, it is counter productive. My wife is now civil again and is feeling better as I am actively preparing to move.
She did however say that in 2 months I should find somewhere closer to her as a more permenant arrangement so we can the move on....
What does that mean do you think? I didn't want to ask as it may be seen as pursuing.
Does it mean moving on as friends or moving on to work on us...confused.
I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?
IMO, she want's you close by so you can be a babysitter or if there is an emergency with D so you can rush over there quickly.
I do not believe for a second that she is thinking of you in a romantic way or that she's had a change of heart.
As to the fact that your W is being civil again, well of course she is, she is getting everything she wants, you out of the house, but close by so you can babysit for her or rush over if something needs fixing. What's not to like?
The last 2 days have been hell. My D8 has been saying she hates me and caused my D4 to attack her saying 'leave daddy alone'. My W didn't intervene and just used the situation to pressure me to leave. She then saud to my D4 that mummy and daddy don't love each other anymore and can't live together. Horrible thing to say to her. My W is now just hostile again and will probably remain so until I leave.
Vapo, your right, she now wants me to take the day off work soon to take her to hospital for an appointment! It's all about what she can get from me. How a romantic relationship can blossom from all this right now is a mystery.
I have told her that I am not moving until I find somewhere habitable. She expects me to go to a hotel until something comes along! She even had the balls to say that this weekend, she expects to relax in HER house without me around!! I had to remind her that it's OURS. Unbelievable attitude. She is not the woman I married!
I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?
I have told her that I am not moving until I find somewhere habitable. She expects me to go to a hotel until something comes along! She even had the balls to say that this weekend, she expects to relax in HER house without me around!! I had to remind her that it's OURS. Unbelievable attitude. She is not the woman I married!
Don't give in, stand your ground. She's the one that wants out of the M, she needs to move out. Don't lose your rights as the father, if you move out it will be very unfavorable for your kids' custody!
Me-LBH, 48 Spouse-WW, 48 Married for 19 years Son, 12 BD #1 - November 1998 (EA 7 months after wedding) BD #2 - November 2015 (same XBF EA) WW filed D February 2016 WW moved out April 2016
I have told her that I am not moving until I find somewhere habitable. She expects me to go to a hotel until something comes along! She even had the balls to say that this weekend, she expects to relax in HER house without me around!! I had to remind her that it's OURS. Unbelievable attitude. She is not the woman I married!
Don't give in, stand your ground. She's the one that wants out of the M, she needs to move out. Don't lose your rights as the father, if you move out it will be very unfavorable for your kids' custody!
I agree - do not move, my H wanted the D, so he moved out and he filed.
What did you do when your W said that to your children? That is absolutely horrible that a parent would think that is okay. You may actually have to get a L to stop that - that is horribly damaging to a child, especially at that age. I am so sorry.
And, it sounds like you should stop being her chauffeur…..IMO
M 44 H 46 M 20yrs T 25 yrs S15 S12
ILYBINILWY 7/18/15 Move to MBR 9/8/15 Physical Separation 10/10/15 Suspect A 8/2015 Confirm A 12/27/15 D filed by H 2/2/16
