I wonder what would have happened if I grew a pair and made a stand right after BD. As most of us were, I was a mess and tried to appease her.
You probably would have nipped all this in the bud and she would respect you as her husband and leader of the family. You probably wouldn't be here at all. Coulda shoulda woulda. Don't feel bad. Most,of us F it up. I know I did. When the worm turned for me was when I found my nads and put a stop to this madness. I'll never be a weak male in my house ever again. Wives don't respect weak husbands. They treat them like a joke and cheat on them. My wife talked a lot of sh!t about divorce until I got tired of it and filed. That fixed everything.
Mu, I don't know, but I'm in no rush. This is time I am using prepare for a better future. I'll leave it at that for now. Tx, I think you are right. When first BD came, I googled "wife wants space". The FIRST website I went to said that this means that your wife has met someone and is getting ready to replace you. File immediately if you want to save your marriage... Not MY wife?!? She would never do something like that! In my broken state, I thought that was harsh and continued on to other sites and other ideas. That's how I ended up here.
Man, they had it right.
Me-40's W- 40's Married 22, Together 29 BD#1- 6/15 W needs space BD#2- OM confirmed PA 1/8/16 Still both home, but not for long
"I need space" ALWAYS means I'm having sex with someone else or am about to and I want to see where that goes while keeping you as a backup plan. If any of us had self-respect we would have never out up with that. People with self-respect never tolerate that kind of disrespect.
It is quite a stalemate regarding who should file. Maybe her lawyer is giving her the same advice that yours is (whoever files pays the fees).
I'm going to play devil's advocate for a moment. Are you sure you are ready to divorce? You say that you are done, and I believe you. I also know that the shoulda, woulda and coulda along with the what ifs are tough too. Getting some support to help with clarity and goals will be time well spent.
Knowing what to do and what not to do at this point is crucial. Feel free to give me a call at 303-444-7004 to discuss how we can best help you determine what to do next.
Cristy Resource Coordinator The Divorce Busting Center 303-444-7004
A Divorce Busting Coach can help you save your marriage, even when your spouse wants out.
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