Also, I know I'm not supposed to be checking the phone according to the 37 rules. But he talked to her on the phone for 12 hours last night! Basically from the moment he left the house until 5 in the morning. Plus another 3+ hours in the morning before he came over. Is that not insane?! Is this the affair addiction?!
Get yourself to a lawyer before you do anything. In some states, there is a real disadvantage to moving out and it can even impact custody decisions etc. You may need to file for temporary support etc before you do anything else
We are renting and he has already moved out so I don't think it effects anything. The landlords are my personal friends and I don't believe he actually signed the lease, so I'm not sure if he would be able to retain the house if I move.
He is absolutely deep in the affair fog. I know dealing with the kids and being pregnant and being left for ow is a lot to handle right now. But checking on them makes you feel worse.
I know because I did just that. And knowing will NOT stop him. If you mention it then he will protect her and their "soulmate love". Again...it will not stop it from happening. It will only make you feel worse. You can't unknow or unsee things.
And if I were you I would see a lawyer asap. If his name isn't on the lease he shouldn't be able to come by whenever he pleases. Especially not to berate you. And he pays the bills because you are a sahm...it was not your choice for him to have an A.
((sixkids))
Rain
Rain (moi): 40 Ex Fiance: 39 3 kids On/off again EA & PA Last BD by ow 12/15 Moved kids and myself back into our own place: 12/15
To make it very clear as we can no longer edit, if WH was keen on leaving a sixth child for a later date then he could have said no to sex.
This is awkward for Catholics, I know this as I am one myself. The only sure way of no pregnancy is no sex especially if contraception is off the table.
Very difficult indeed.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
Is it still the wayward fog if he wants to fight for custody? I thought part of it was not caring about anything except the affair.
Although he does have totally unrealistic views of how our children are going to be. Or maybe he's just hiding his emotions about it. So far, he's just said things like "Yeah, it's really going to suck" in a very pragmatic voice, but with no hint of pain about the pain they will experience.
I thought I had posted back to you and the big ether in the sky took it.
Yes my lovely, WH is in an affair fog, often the behaviours make sense only to the wayward, no doubt there is a reason, even if it is to back foot you.
You my sweetheart are going to be the stable parent for your children and fight to ensure this doesn't suck!
WH will eventually have a reality check big time. EAS and PAs normally don't last much beyond two years even if they get to that. Financial and practical considerations will ring the sunrise bell.
Take extra care of your health and I will check in on you.
Hugs
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
I'm not sure where to even start with today. Our oldest is the only one who knows about the separation so far (the others are just oblivious). He is 9 and I've been taking him to a therapist for depression for about a month. Today we went to see a doctor about prescribing meds for the depression and his difficulty going to sleep. While there he told the doctor he wanted to kill himself and that he hated himself. That he'd rather be dead than have us get divorced and that it was the worst thing that had ever happened. He said he wouldn't take any medication and if I tried to give it to him he would throw it away and destroy the bottle. After talking for a while, he was on the verge of a breakdown (doctor described it as "crumbling") and she referred him for inpatient treatment.
On the ride there he said he hated his dad because "he has no idea the pain he is causing us." That was like a knife to the gut. I reassured him that daddy was making bad choices but that didn't change the love he has for our kids. My husband met us at the hospital for the assessment and although he seemed casual during it, we both broke down in the parking lot. He hugged me and said "Im sorry" twice but didn't specify what for. We both said we wanted to just go back inside and take him home. We each get to talk to him 10 minutes a night and can see him for two hours on Saturday. Hopefully he will only have to be there a week to get his sleep stable and for the antidepressants to start stabilizing him. This was so hard, to leave my baby there. I could use prayers or good thoughts
