That's the problem Ancaire. I just don't know. Really I don't know. It's not as though I sit around and do nothing. I work full time. I am there for my kids (we all share my car so a lot of planning and coordination goes into scheduling school drop offs and sports games and part time jobs etc.) Today I went for a long hike with dog and kids joined me at cottage then I met my sister and mom for a nice roast beef dinner. BUT what am I doing for me????? Idk these things I do for my kids ARE for me. time spent with my sisters and mother ARE for me. Aren't they?
Jpeg, I have 3 kids, one done with college, one in college and one in high school. It goes so fast Jpeg, Halloween one day and College the next. Enjoy every minute with them, you never get it back.
I feel that now that I've been fired as a wife, I flounder between working and child and feel a big piece missing.
I've been GALing, but one can GAL only so much. My therapist gave me a suggestion that I'd like to share. I set aside a time each day (length and when varies) where I allow myself to sit and think and feel my loss. Then the rest of the day, I know that time is near, or that I've already dug in for the day. And tomorrow is another. And hey, if I need a second mini-session (haven't had one yet) I'm giving myself permission to take one.
Hang in there, jpeg.
Buttercup
Me 50 H 51 M 17 T 20 D16 H EA Feb 2014 BD Sept 2015 H moved out Nov 2015 W Filed D papers Mar 2016
Jpeg - I'm really worried about you. I hope all is well.
You are correct in that doing things with your family are for you - that's who you are; a family woman.
What about things that interest you? Are you an artist? A musician? Do you have crafts that interest you? Hobbies? We've got to find you something so that you have your own little niche, outside of the role that's been yours for so very long.
What have you done to take steps towards healing this awful wound H has inflicted on you? Counseling? Reading? Church?
I just hate to see you in so much pain. I would do anything to help you if I can.
Please know I'm thinking about you...check in when you can?
That's the problem Ancaire. I just don't know. Really I don't know. It's not as though I sit around and do nothing. I work full time. I am there for my kids (we all share my car so a lot of planning and coordination goes into scheduling school drop offs and sports games and part time jobs etc.) Today I went for a long hike with dog and kids joined me at cottage then I met my sister and mom for a nice roast beef dinner. BUT what am I doing for me????? Idk these things I do for my kids ARE for me. time spent with my sisters and mother ARE for me. Aren't they?
GAL is what works for you. No one can really answer what works except you. Do your kids have any common interests with you? My kids started soccer in the fall and I had a blast practicing/coaching with them. Maybe you can find something that you can do to GAL with your kids instead of without them.
Quick ideas (I can't remember how old your kids are): 1) Painting. Crayons, finger painting or something more advanced might be fun 2) Hiking 3) Anything outdoorsy 4) Board games 5) watching movies 6) Sports
Once you start doing things with your kids you can reevaluate if you'd like to find something to do on your own. Baby steps, but remember to keep checking to see if your needs are being met.
Me-38 W-38; T-15 M-12; S10 and S6 BD - July 2016; EA confirmed; confronted Aug 2015 EA dissolved 12/2016
Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option - Maya Angelou
