Had an ok day. The three of us went out to lunch, then ice skating. I CANNOT skate, so a few times he had to hold my hand, which I'm not sure he was too thrilled about. We we're able to laugh together once or twice though.
I also talked with excitement about buying my own place eventually when D and I move back to Europe.
Nothing much to report here. How is everyone else doing?
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
11/4/15 W revealed EA/2 months later became PA with co-worker Reconciling since late April 2016 Don't give up until it's time, then move on Be patient, strong and kind but never a doormat
I just wrote back good idea, lets meet up next week.
It's not good news. He's dying to get the divorce over and done with so he can move on, focus on himself and the ow.
I have zero desire to fight with him, but when DB first happened he agreed I should get full custody, last we talked I got the impression he no longer feels that way.
Yes no, I dunno. I mean, fact is we won't be residing in the same country. He plans to be around for 7-9 days a month, that is when he is not traveling for a project. He is a very hands on father when he is around, he just hasn't been around that much. I'm more worried about legal custody really. I have no reason to think we won't agree on matters pertaining to our D, but I also thought I was married for life. So there's that...
But I don't even know how or what to prepare. Or in general, things to look out for in mediation. There are probably a million aspects to divorce I'm not even aware of.
You really need to get legal advice - I know I have written that a few times. Here is what makes this a unique situation. You H is a US citizen, correct as is your D, right? You are not, correct?
You need really tight language about visitation -- where he is allowed to take her, where visitation will occur, because you might run the risk of him having her in the US and not returning her. I know some families that are in the opposite situation (where the custodial parent is in the US and the other parent is not) where the parenting plan spells out where visitation takes place, generally the child's home town or state. You have to decide now what overseas travel (for both of you) will look like. Will your child have duel citizenship? If not, then you need to research now what is required for you to move abroad with her and then travel with a US passport without her other parent.
I would talk to him about how unfair it will be to you to plan a visitation schedule that he realistically won't be able to plan for. You can set a plan (ie 4-6 weeks out) where he must notify you as to his plans so you can plan. It will be hard to have to wait until the last minute to know if he is going to show. Does he have connections (ie free places to stay) in the town you are relocating to? If not, that needs to be addressed as well. You don't want to be his housing plan.
And frankly, I think it is a fool's folly to spell out a visitation plan when he doesn't know his schedule month to month. You are better off with language that allows the two of you to set a schedule.
And I think you would need some kind of language that requires him not to take you to court in the US, unless he pays your travel costs, once the divorce is settled. Again, he will have lots more power, and you won't be here. Is the country you are looking to relocate too part of the Geneva Convention in terms ofchild custody issues?
And financially, how will the agreement be enforced if you are in Europe.
I am not trying to make you nervous, but realistically he isn't the man you thought he was. And when another woman is involved, things can get wild.
I am not trying to make you nervous, but I think you are in a far more vulnerable position than you appreciate. I know it stinks, but you are the only advocate for yourself and for your D.
