Hey All, its been a busy busy week with Christmas fast approaching. Sorry i havent had much time to post. My wife has been leaving me with S1 all week while she goes galavanting with OM. Im geting tired ck this feeling of being stuck in limbo. She continually lies and disrespects me. She says were seperated yet i continue to pay all the bills and we have made no attempt to make arangments for a schedule or anything with regards to time with S1. I been chatting quite alot with 2 of her good freinds that have been trying realy hard to push her out of her fog. They are encouraging me to talk to her. I guess my question i have for everyone is should i make a stand here and tell w im tiered of being lied to and disreapected. I want to tell her she needs to pull her weight when it comes to household bills if she wants to continue living under this roof. I want tell her im tierd of taking things one day at a time i need to move forward with my life with or without you.
On another note on of her freinds found out from one of our convos that w was lying about who she went to an event with tonight and she called my w out. My wife now texted me saying she doesnt apreciate me checking up on her and that she doesnt text my freinds asking about me. I want to respond by saying i dont apreciate being lied to and disrespected. What should i do?
On a possative note i signes S1 and I up for swimming lessons.
M30 - W29 - S1.5 EA/PA Confirmed - Oct 30, 2015 Confronted W about the A - Nov 1, 2015 W asked for seperation - Nov 22, 2015 W moves out of house - Jan 3rd, 2016
So she is cake eating big time - your the babysitter and financier for her A.
Read Sandi2's threads again and set some boundaries and a schedule so you can gal.
She ain't going to be talked out of the fog by her friends.
Me49 W45 T15 M13 S11 S8 BD 11/15/11 & 3/27/12 Moved out 4/9/12 Moved back 4/23/12 W working on US 5/20/12 Now Piecing! May-Oct14 drifting Dec 14 W agrees to more QT BD Oct15 ILYBINILWY W filed 1/25/16
Leave the lies, disrespect, all relationship talk out of it.
Sit down and tell her that you all need to work out financial responsibilities (who pays what) while you are living together. If she wants to leave, then the best thing to do (talk to a L) would prob be to file for legal separation (so you're not responsible for any debts she incurs, etc...again, L!).
But yeah, ignore all the R talk, OM, etc. Won't do any good anyway and will distract you from the business at hand which is the financial discussion. Keep it just the facts.
Her is my plan/proposal for moving forward financialy. For argument sake lets say I make $65,000 a year vs W's $35,000.
- I was thinking comon bills (mortgage, hydro, water, natural gas, cable/internet, house insurance, daycare for S1, groceries etc) we will total everything up i pay 65% she pays 335 of the total im feeling this is fair based off our salaries. Does that make sence or should it be 50/50. - Then her bills (her cell, her car insurance, her gas, her beautification etc) she pays 100% - credit card debt we amassed together so i feel we should pay down together plan how to pay down use same split 65% / 35% for same reasons stated above.
Am i missing anything? Does this plan sound fair from outside looking in?
M30 - W29 - S1.5 EA/PA Confirmed - Oct 30, 2015 Confronted W about the A - Nov 1, 2015 W asked for seperation - Nov 22, 2015 W moves out of house - Jan 3rd, 2016
Her stuff (phone, car insurance, gas, etc.) is definitely 100% hers.
Personally, I would go 50/50 with the shared stuff to start with. If that is not acceptable then you can suggest she move out since you are not financing her life choice that is damaging the family. Your money is family money only. Besides, you can always negotiate to 65/35 later, but no need to start there.
Split credit cards ASAP. Balance transfer to new cards that are separate and cancel any joint cards. This will allow the split to be done and you can control the payments and usage to your part of it on your own new card and what she does with hers on her new card is her business.
Also, don't forget to separate all other accounts. Checking, saving, etc. You have to be in total control of what you earn and what you pay. Any joint accounts will just be used to stick you with stuff you have no control over. Get a separation agreement that outlines all these things so there is no recourse when she blows through whatever money she gets and demands you pay up. Document, document, document and agreements and financial transfers.
Last edited by mvgfwd2; 12/20/1506:26 PM.
Me:49 W:45 M:19 T:22 EA confirmed and ended 8/2014 S:19,17 D:9,5
