Stumbling, or moving forward?

[ARose]

SciDad, good for you! Great GAL, good luck with the interview. You are nailing this, except for the snooping, but I know, that's really a tough one to kick.

I just saw Daddy's Home and it was hilarious, if you are looking for something funny. PG-13 so is that considered adult? I brought my 9 year old and he liked it but it was more inappropriate than I had expected.

Maybe your W is noticing the changes, but you are right to be skeptical. I am noticing my H is really paying a lot more attention as well. I am hopeful but also starting to not really care all that much at the same time. If this was a month ago, or even a few weeks ago I'd have been more excited. It's nice, but a little too little a little too late. Not that I mean its too late to save the M, but its going to take a lot more than a few questions about my day or an occasional hug. Like you said, its an indication that we are on the right path. Maybe. Certainly nice to have less tension.

I hope you have a great weekend! I am hoping for you that she will give you a full on grope in the near future, lol.

[npmyst]

I caught my wife going through stuff on my nightstand. Either she's trying to figure out what new cologne I'm wearing now or she's beginning to wonder what I'm up to. Another thing - as I continue to work on detaching, my wife is slowly getting drawn in. She's starting to initiate touches and I woke up this morning with her snuggled up against me (I swear I didn't initiate!). I promise I won't read much into this other than to say that I think I'm on the right track.

Plans for weekend:

1) Workout. I will tell my wife where I'm going and she can come with if she'd like. But I'm going no matter what.

2) Prep for my job interview. Not going to lie - I'm super excited

3) Start putting away xmas decorations and clean up the house a bit

4) Watch a movie (with popcorn!) with the kids.

5) Watch an adult movie (No, not X-rated get your mind out of the gutter! I'm just looking for something not animated)

Wow Sci! I'm impressed. My situation is way different than yours but to see the progress you've made is remarkable and not to mention, very good to read. I see the detachment is paying off but just like you said, don't read into it. That's the hardest part of things. I will pray for you and your family.

[censored] that wake up calls like this are needed in order to shake up our lives for the better. No one is born with relationship skills, that's for sure.

[SciDad]

Hi Fo!

I was actually avoiding Daddy's Home. Storyline hits a little too close to home if you know what I mean.... I'll probably end up watching it, but not yet. Not feeling secure enough.

Not sure I'd know what to do if she groped. 2 years, remember...? Hopefully it's like riding a bike.

As for our potential futures, I think it's best for both of us to be cautious. Let our spouses PROVE their intentions through their actions

[SciDad]

Hi npmyst, thank you for stopping by!

One thing I want to caution you about is that I don't want you to think there is a quick fix for any of this. I've been actively working on my marriage for over a year. DB is a recent, but important addition. And things are far from fixed. I'm hopeful, but expecting nothing

[Ancaire]

Riding a bike? I sure hope so! Although, since I'm barely 5 months in, I have a feeling I'm in for a really, really long wait. I'm worrying about my girly bits....hopefully, they don't wake up and start driving me nuts. (Is that TMI?)

I've resolved to go NC, work on me, let him go...but even though I know it to be the best path to take? I'm lonely. I need to be really careful about making sure I don't wind up in any circumstances that don't give me cause for regret later.

This is hard work.

[- MB -]

Ancaire, I know exactly what you mean! The loneliness is almost unbearable sometimes. I sooooo just want to go over there and have him put his arms around me and make me feel better. Unfortunately, when I am there, that is the very LAST think he would ever do so I just make a fool out of myself. Took me a while, but I finally figured that one out! I do seem to be a slow learner these days.

[- MB -]

SciDad, I'm glad that you're hopeful! You've been at this for a long time and you deserve some happiness. Keep up the great work.

[SciDad]

Ancaire and MB, I totally relate, but since she sleeps right next to me it gets awkward at times...

Quick update on my day:GAL doing well! Ran 3 miles this morning at the gym. Wife and kids stayed home so I got to take my time. Only downside is I saw the OM's 10yr old son. Said a quick hello and kept working out.

Also put away all our outdoor xmas decorations away (and a few indoor). Played board games with my sons. Watched football. Bought a new guitar song book.

My wife seems to be a bit cranky today, but that could be simply because her period started and she's crampy. Either that or her yo-yo of emotions swung to a more negative place... At one point she asked if I was going to shave because she was scared of my stubble. I told her I wasn't going to. Maybe that means I'm more detached? Probably didn't help her mood that I don't really give a crap whether she kisses me or not. Let's just say I've got bigger issues to deal with.

One Odd thing, though. Apparently I've made quite the impression on my wife's sister's 3yr old son (my nephew by marriage). So much do that my mil called so he could talk to me for 20 minutes! Kinda fun for my wife to bring the phone to me after she'd been hiding in our bedroom for several hours. Even better that no one wanted to talk to her

[Ancaire]

SciDad...that's not kinda fun - it's karma! LOL You're hanging in there, becoming the best version of yourself, and she's...what? What is she doing to help the situation?

I'd say if you're not jumping through hoops to please her - yes, you're detaching. I realized I was detaching when I would do something and would think "What would H think?" and then would decided I don't really care what he thinks. I really didn't think I would ever get to that point - yet, here I am.

I'm on the right path, I know I am. His little temper tantrum yesterday used to mean I'd be fretting and worrying. I asked for advice, but I didn't spend any time worrying. I really don't care. I just need help figuring out to transverse the minefield on my way out the door.

He probably is sensing it. That must be why he's forcing interactions more frequently. He's sensing that I'm moving on. I wonder why he cares, since he fired me - but I understand that to be a curiosity that is common.

I'm keeping up with your sitch, learning all that I can. Great job on the GAL!

[JksD]

Scidad,
I watched daddy's home alone. They say corny, I say ouch funny.

How gracious of you to greet the OM'S son! And lol about your wife's nephew.

You're doing great. There's nothing more attractive than a guy who's great with kids and let's hope your W sees that soon!