Can't get past the cheating

[Blugirl]

I am sorry. I am on a few different websites, so I forgot about the original post I had. Well, it appears that not much of anything has gotten better.

I liked the one quote that said, "he disrespects you, because you allow him too." I think at this point. I need to just pick myself up and move on.

[JujuB]

Hi bluegirl. I am sorry no positive changes in your situation. Are you currently considering leaving husband?

I am sorry, I don't know how to advise, but I am hoping you continue to post here.

I too am considering ending things. My husband left me 8 months ago and does not know what he wants. His neglect and abandonment is not acceptable to me and I want to move forward. I guess it is a difficult decision for all of us.

Please keep posting. I think you will get good support here regardless of what you decide.

[Blugirl]

Thank you jujuB,
I think I am just gonna focus on the 180 for now. I need to make improvements to myself and my life no matter what the outcome will be from all of this. It is a tough decision, I agree. I hope you find some resolution to your own situation. Stay strong❤️

[Blugirl]

Hello everyone.
Not sure where to start. I have posted a few times before. Long story short I have been married for 23 yrs. it's been a very rocky last 3. My husband and I have gotten into a rut when it comes to arguing and things escalate very quickly. I have threatened divorce because I am at my wits end. My husband has filed twice before and I end begging for him to change his mind. He has filed yet again. This is the 3rd time. Every time he does this he states, "I don't want this but you do, so here you go!" I am not trying to place blame. I have done a lot wrong. I am working on me right now. During this last fight he was reaching out (blaming, crying, raging) and I was so shut down I ignored it. There has been infidelity on his part and I feel as though I have really struggled with that.

He told me on Friday that "he gave me everything" that he "misses me" "I don't want a divorce" " I don't want anyone else" and I was so hurt I just kept telling him to leave me alone. Fast forward to Monday, he says he didn't want to, but he filed. We fight like two wounded children. I am reading The divorce remedy right now. I am on day 3 of no contact. How would you advise me to proceed? I know about the LRT. So do I just stop all contact and file for divorce after I receive the papers? Not sure if that's right. He has stated he will only discuss things through lawyers at this point. What do I do?

[Blugirl]

Oh, and he also stated "Good bye ____, I love you". And then said he would just go through lawyers at this point.

[Cadet]

Merged this in with your first thread as you should stick with one thread until 100 posts.

I suggest you go back and read my first post to you and all the links.

[Blugirl]

Thanks! I will. Just trying to not make the wrong move.

[Bdog37]

Hello Bluegirl,

It seems that you have been struggling with this for quite some time and I'm sorry to hear that. Maybe you should read up on Michelle's advise on "healing from infidelity". No, like TxHubby said, you will never forget but you can heal and forgive.

Do you guys still see a MC and do you want a D? Do you believe this last filing from H is another "manipulating technique" or a genuine one?

Have you ever contact the DB coaches and set up some time to talk with them? They can advise you best on how to handle the situation so maybe give them a call.

I would also continue to post on here and the vets will reach out. This is a great place to get advice and support so keep update your sitch when you can.

[Cristy]

Have you ever contact the DB coaches and set up some time to talk with them? They can advise you best on how to handle the situation so maybe give them a call.

Hello Blugirl,

I am sorry that you are finding your way back to this website again.

Bdog37- Thank you for the vote of confidence regarding the DB telephone coaching!

Little compares to the devastation people feel when they discover their spouse has been unfaithful. Couples often struggle to get past intense emotional pain, mistrust, resentment and never ending arguments about the betrayal. Healing from infidelity is achievable for both of you with the right support and tools.

You are at a very fragile point in this relationship and it would be extremely helpful to know what your next move should be. Feel free to give me a call at 303-444-7004 to discuss how we can best help you determine what to do next.

Cristy

Resource Coordinator
The Divorce Busting Center
303-444-7004

[Blugirl]

Thanks for the replies. Haven't heard from him since Monday. I am just waiting on the divorce papers to arrive. I have started reading DR and I am really just focused on not chasing right now. I know I need to work on me and take care of myself right now. Thanks so much.